Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Formalising access arrangements is it worth it?

4 replies

citylover · 22/04/2008 15:29

When we divorced last year in our joint statement of how often exH would see DCs was that he would have them both every other weekend and one night each week.

However since we separated in 06 he has had them together for one full weekend when I was away for work.

Other than that he tends to have them for 24 hours at max often changing at short notice and finds it hard to commit to specific weekdays unless at short notice.

It's like I am always prodding him up the arse to find out exactly when he is seeing them and I find I can't make many plans in advance.

he has a new p and she is pg with twins so I can't see situation improving. Things complicated further by the fact he has to go away on business a fair bit.

Since Xmas I have been logging exactly when he sees them and he has just come back from a trip to say that this weekend he can't have them cos there is a celebration dinner on Sat and the following weekend he is going away!! When I asked if he had though of taking DCs with them he said it was too xpensive.

I have suggested to him that we formalise arrangement but my question is do you think it will be worth it. Would I use solicitor or apply to the courts. And what's to say it will improve matters.

The DCs notice when they don't see him and they aren't in a routine and I can't plan any life of my own.

OP posts:
citylover · 22/04/2008 15:30

Should add in a 'routine of visits'.

I think he should diarise them as a matter of priority.

OP posts:
neva · 22/04/2008 18:39

Could you try writing to him with your proposals and thoughts- trying to keep things amicable if possible? If that doesn't work maybe try mediation to work out a detailed agreement. A more formal arrangement could help, but bear in mind there is no guarantee he will stick to it.

citylover · 22/04/2008 21:08

thanks we do have written agreement as you are required to do so as part of divorce petition.

I did email him today saying that I was thinking of taking it further and he has emailed back saying that he will have two consecutive weekends at the end of May to compensate for the next two.

However his definition of weekend seems to differ from mine and he has also so far refused to take DS1 to a sporting event he takes part in every Sunday meaning I have had to collect him early on Sunday morning so he can participate.

But I think my email may have temporarily spurred him into action.

OP posts:
raisinbran · 22/04/2008 23:24

I was led to believe that you can't legally make them see their children. However If you refused access to him seeing the children he can legally be given scheduled access.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page