Controlling ex

[Buttermill]

My ex of 4 years has found out I have a new partner so stopped all contact with out son and also stopped maintenance payments even though its through collect and pay currently. He only seen him on school holidays and in summer did approximately 2 weeks in total and would do 3 days over Christmas or Easter etc. I am devastated for my son, I hate that my ex is using my personal life against him and would hurt him emotionally like this. Does it ever end? I know he didn't exactly have a full time relationship with him but it was still something and now it has stopped all together. I feel a terrible guilt as though I have hurt my son but I know this is not my actions and i don't know what to do.

He's manipulating you using your son. He's vile and abusive and you have nothing to feel guilty about. There is nothing you can do except support your son.

And obviously pursue CMS about missed payments. Don't let him get away with that.

On thing I learned through my ghastly ex is , you can’t control other people . Definitely chase the maintenance, but heartbreaking as it is you can’t force someone who doesn’t want too , too see their child,

How do I explain it to my dc he is 5? It has always been me doing the chasing to even get him to see him then I would get some skin crawling message like u looked well today missing you or something and hated I said once not appropriate I dont feel that way and just keep it civil and then never replied to the others. He was mentally and at times physically abusive thats why I left him in the first place when I was finally pushed to my limits. He would get mad and throw glasses or smashed the TV or lock me in a room and say it was my fault. Anyway mainly I guess I'm asking how do you explain to a child who has questions. He doesn't ask a lot to be fair I would have tried to ring his dad once a month or maybe twice to get him to videocassette but 9/10 times he never answered but he knew he was due to see him in 2 weeks