People who suddenly want to be your pal now they're getting divorced

[Applesinautumn]

But weren't especially bothered before! anyone had this? I'm finding it annoying as an lp of over a decade. I had no family and nobody really there for me while I raised dcs and it was a struggle. Someone I saw every few months, an acquaintance really, now has decided to get divorced and she's trying to pressure to see me all the time and I don't really want to.

No it's not happened to me. You mentioned one person though. While it may be annoying, that doesn't mean it happens a lot.

Are you struggling to assert your boundaries?

It seems like you feel that she is trying to use you for support and you especially don't want to do that because you didn't get the support you maybe would have liked yourself?

How is she pressuring you?

That's true enough it's just one person and yes I'm struggling with boundaries and feel like I'm being guilt tripped. She will say she's hardly seen me, other people are helping her in all sorts of ways, things like that. So she keeps trying to meet up. Obviously I don't want to hurt her feelings but honestly, it feels like she wants to see me now it suits her but not when I was on my own. And not proud of it but I feel resentful about this and just don't feel like it.

She is using you to replace the hole her husband left in her life. Just don't allow it. You weren't particularly friendly before, she wasn't there for you when you needed her, don't feel guilt. If she had been there for you then it would be fair enough to put a lot of effort in. Just carry on as you were before unless you want to do more.

Thanks yes I'd for sure make the effort if it was a close friend or someone who had been there. There wasn't really anyone there! I have found single parenting very tough. Thoughts with all those doing it with little ones.