Info for context as I don't want to drip feed: Relationship ended when DC was a baby. Pretty toxic situation from both sides, he would drink and become aggressive, lots of cheating on his part, and I was insecure, paranoid, made worse with PND too. Came to a head when he lunged at me and said he would kill me (said in quite a graphic way but triggering and outing), and I called the police.
He moved back in with his parents and DC would stay with them once a week in the early days.
We have successfully co-parented for years. DC with dad 2 nights a week and with me the rest. Agreed that DC is home on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day and with him Xmas night/Boxing Day. Both attend school events, usually take DC out somewhere for their birthday so we both get to see them. I think we both know we aren't each other's favourite person but have managed to make it work for DC.
Until around 5 months ago.. I don't understand what's gone wrong but I'm struggling.
He's always sent maintenance, a lot less than what he should be but whatever. But recently he's withholding this until the last week of the month. We also have a joint mortgage, rates have gone through the roof and again not sending this until the last week of the month. I know he's still sending it which is good, but it's putting me in a position where I'm struggling for money until he does which he is aware of.
He's been late picking up DC.. as in 3 hours later than planned. He did this recently and I was working. Luckily I can work a little bit from home but have a job where I have lots of meetings and appointments, and I'd planned them for after I knew DC would have been picked up, but ended up missing 4 appointments. Again he was aware of them but said he had things to do.
He's sent messages out of the blue telling me he's organising a house valuation and telling me to put the house up for sale. Obviously this is DCs home and I'm not in a position to sell. I've said we can look at taking him off the mortgage and signing an agreement of how equity will be shared with a solicitor (I put the whole deposit down and would want that back), I can't afford to buy him out. He's said no, I have to sell.
He's also started giving me a look when I drop DC off at his house. It's hard to describe but it's like his eyes go dark. He used to look at me like it when we were together and it petrifies me.
Sorry for the long post, I don't understand what has changed or why he's making things difficult now. I'm also realising that I'm still actually terrified of him and it makes me feel ridiculous. Is anyone in this situation? My anxiety is through the roof. Am I over reacting here?