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[RedLeicesterRedLeicester]

Getting into a rhythm after stbxh has recently moved out.

Was v happy playing home for a few weeks but it’s starting to build up now. No one ever takes a bin out, tidies up, clears after tea. I did a lot before but doing every single thing feels like I’m drowning in domestic/ tidying hell.

I know a lot of people had no help before and find it easier but honestly this bit is getting to me..

Sympathy / reality check please

Are your kids old enough to help. You need to have a chat with them. Dad's left this house now so you all need to help out more. Make a chart if you need to.

You will get there. Surely there is less 'work' overall as you have one less person. Less washing and food and less cleaning.

Any neighbours DC (if your own aren't old enough!) who take the bins out who could be bribed to take yours out when they do their own?

It's my most hated job and well worth the tenner a month I pay a local teen 😂

Can't help you with the rest of it though, it's relentless!

I found that once I began to think 'if I don't do it, nobody will' and 'your future self will thank you' then the mental load was hugely lifted and it became easier. So instead of putting mental energy into resenting that I was doing it all anyway I just got on with it. I also thank yesterday's self for doing the washing up/washing etc so I come down to a clean kitchen. For me it works and makes me 😃

Are husbands supposed to do that then?! Can't remember the last time mine took the bins out

I struggled with this at first too after exH and I split. Not that he did much but I just felt more alone an D.C. everything was out of sorts. Now 5 years on and my new DP living with us I wish I could just go back to living me and DC's as the place was far tidier and more organised with just us in the house! I actually hate living with another adult now. You will find your way and get settled into a new routine. It just all takes time.

Not yet sadly. But i will train them!