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thinking of starting a single parent social club

9 replies

googoomama · 18/04/2008 20:46

Hello everyone
A bit nervous as this is the first time I've posted! I'm a newly single mother of two DS, four and nearly two. I'm actually really enjoying my new life - husband left and I was devastated but 3 months on I'm wondering how I put up with all the verbal abuse for 6 years. Although I have a few friends, they are all happily married (I think) and I really want to start up a sort of social club for single parents in Northumberland - we could meet and share woes/truimphs, organise soft play dates etc.and generally just have the support of people in a similar situation. Sundays can be hard - so many of my friends are couples with children and I end up being on my own with the kids. Is anyone from Northumberland out there? Would you like to join?

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allgonebellyup · 18/04/2008 21:06

what about shelley from "young mums mansion"? she is on the thread of the same name, and is in northumberland too.

googoomama · 18/04/2008 21:13

Thanks allgonebellyup, I'll look at that. I'm so pleased to have eventually plucked up the courage to send a message - been a voyeur for so long! I really need to meet some people in my position - much as I love my married friends, they haven't got a clue what it's like to be selling the family home, buying a much smaller one, dealing with divorce paperwork, working full time, looking after two daft little uns and trying to keep smiling in the face of romantic adversity!

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gillybean2 · 19/04/2008 01:30

I joined a newly formed lone parent group here in essex last year. It started with 6 members and has grown enormously with some 50 parents plus their children now in the group.

Our group has a monthly coffee morning meeting where they discuss outings, events, fund raising etc. And then once a month we also have an evening event at the local indoor play centre which is open to us exclusively and at a reduced price for teh children. We also have adult only evenings such as the dads went bowling and the mums had a pamper night and a fund raising quiz night. We also have trips planned for the summer like taking the children to the zoo and the beach.

It can be a big commitment, so I would suggest thinking about what you actually want here. Do you want a group open to all single parents in your area or limited to a small handful? Are you wanting to organise trips, outings, events, and possibly apply for funding for these etc, or do you just want to meet up with a few other local single parents for coffee and to share babysitting and have people to go out with or on the end of a phone if you need someone to talk to maybe?

Our group is now so big we are probably going to have to officially register as a charity this year, and that brings a lot of additional paperwork. We already have to have an elected comittee, a child protection policy and offical constitution. We will also have to raise money to pay to become a registered charity and have fully audited accounts.

I'm not trying to put you off if that is the way you want to go, just suggesting you look at what you want and what you can manage time wise. If you do go for a group open to all you will find there is probably a big demand as there is in our area, but you will be taking on quite a big comitment if you do go for that option. It is very hard work but equally rewarding.

If you just want a few other lone parents you can call on for support, babysitting and someone to go out with occassionally then i'm sure you'll find lots, but you might find yourself starting small and suddenly growing very fast!

I do think you should go for it though, my life has been so much more fun being able to share things with other single parents, my son has lots of new friends to play with, and now i know there are people just a phone call away who can and will help me out when i need it. We also went away as a group on holiday recently for free as they found funding, and I've found another mum to go away with for a few days in half term through the group.

Good luck, i'm sure you'll find more single parents in your area very quickly.

Gilly

chickenmama · 19/04/2008 22:35

Ah gilly about your group, could u email details to me at [email protected]?

Alambil · 19/04/2008 22:45

you could look into joining a local Gingerbread group if you didn't want to start your own straight away?

googoomama · 20/04/2008 15:00

Thanks for all of the advice gillybean2 - I'm really looking for a small group to share softplay sessions/coffee outings etc with - and to be able to talk to other people who aren't married and have no idea how hard it is on your own. How did you initially look for people? Did you send out leaflets or advertise somewhere? I live in a small town in rural Northumberland and I don't know how to go about finding people at first.

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NYC6723 · 20/04/2008 15:05

Does anyone know of a club like this in cetral London?

googoomama · 20/04/2008 17:04

Go to the Gingerbread charity website and register for free - I just have and you get to see a list of local groups that you can go to as a single parent with your kids - there isn't one in my area but there are loads in the south east. Some of them are friendship groups, who meet for coffee and general socialising and some are called affiliated groups which organise larger events - some of the larger groups charge a tenner per year but the smaller groups are free - the website is good - lots of advice and leaflets that you can download about the trails and tribulations of single parenthood!

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itbird · 24/04/2008 10:23

Hi gillybean can you email me details of your group am in essex and interested in your group sounds just what i need. Email [email protected] ta x

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