How do you work??!!

[ineedasleep]

I’m sure this has been done to death but I’ve been a single mum for a year now, was getting my life sorted and now heading back to work in the next 2 months.

My son is now going to start school next week but I’ve never had to work and be a parent before and now, I’m a single parent so I feel so unsure about how I’m going to manage everything.

My ex is not around and I have no help elsewhere. I appreciate I only have the one child but I’m just scared.

I’m looking for jobs and I’ve always worked full time in mid management roles in offices and now I’m anxious on how I’m going to do the drop offs every morning, work, do a pick up, afford everything etc etc I know people do it, I just wonder, how? I’m sure you’re all very stressed and tired.

How do you all do it?
What work do you do?
Full time work seems impossible but it’s all I’ve ever done.

Started off 20 hrs 4 days a week term time only, college admin role -Early years

TA 8:30-15:30 then teacher similar hours to TA physically at school apart from twilight training, meetings, parents evening + additional hours in the evening - infant and junior years, breakfast club and a private nursery did school pick up or my parents depending on the day, school holidays off

Teaching then changed industry to FT WFH public sector role in the secondary years when didn't need childcare but being around the house was useful.

Term time only work was largely poorly paid but probably worked out even never having to pay out for holiday clubs

Breakfast club, afterschool club, tax credits that covered 85% of childcare costs.
Took advantage of Groupon deals for Hello Fresh, Gousto, places like that for quick meals. Put some ready meals in the freezer for lazy days.
It's hard at first but you get into a routine pretty quickly!
Good luck

Thank you. I’ll definitely keep an eye out for teaching assistant roles. Did you have any previous experience? I have no professional childcare experience.

Thank you, this gives me hope. Did you find it hard for ages or did you just get used to the new normal? Did you work full time too? Sorry for the questions I don’t know if you can tell but i’m terrified haha

Good luck! It's HARD, but gets easier over time.

Find your coping mechanisms, and if it works don't try and change it! I wake up early to cover housework that can't be done by the cleaner, but the evenings once DS is asleep are MINE and you'll find me on the sofa with snacks and mumsnet 😂

Find jobs that honour flexible working ~ not just for a set working pattern, but where the culture is flexible. I find new, and tech, companies are quite good at this. More about the company than the role (as long as the role is office/home based!)
You need embrace the flexibility ~ getting to leave early/take time back on quiet days means you need to plough in the hours when needed - I take calls at the playground sometimes, or in the car! But for me, this is worth it for the flex I get.

I work in Operations for big tech. Best job I've found for work/life balance so far.

Throw money at it if you can (easier said than done). I worked HORRIBLE jobs for years to increase my earning potential, meaning I now have the flex to pay for a cleaner/Ocado shops/Deliveroo which makes my life plenty easier. However if you're already in mid-management you may well not need to do this.

Sanctify your lunch break. I go to the gym for a class, because that makes me feel like a kick-ass girl boss, but you do you! Sometimes if I'm in the office I'll just mooch the nearby M&S for an hour. Carve the time out for YOU, otherwise it gets wasted, and we can't afford that as single mums ;)

Good luck!

I had only ever worked with children mostly in outdoor residential settings, I didn't have any TA qualifications and nor did I ever do any. I was a TA at secondary but did have a degree in the curriculum area I supported in.

You may be more suited to admin / business manager type roles rather than hands on TA or children services at the council who often offer TT working

Self employed. In some ways harder, in some ways easier. can't imagine having to go into an office type job though! Working flexibly from home is helpful.

TA work is very physically exhausting and badly paid, I did it for twelve years as I'm also a single parent. If I could go back I would probably have tried to get an office job part time instead, but then the school holidays are difficult.
The main thing is you're there for your son and that's what matters.

It's hard. The truth is that it's bloody hard. I'm absolutely knackered, emotionally and physically. You basically give up sleeping or sitting down for the next 18 years.

DD is off to uni soon and we've all thrived...you'll be ok.

Breakfast clubs and after school clubs unfortunately.
I also think working for a company with family friendly policies is helpful, i.e. options to wfh, carers leave...
I work for the NHS and i find my Trust to be great in this area
.

Have a look for remote or hybrid roles in the charity sector, you'll find more flexible roles that suit your situation.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?keywords=Remote&UserHasGrantedBrowserGeoLocationPermission=No

I loved everything you’ve written and I think I want to print it off and look at it! Haha

You’ve given me hope and realistic idea. So full time is possible but finding the right role and company is essential! Thank you thank you!

It's really hard. I'm (relatively) lucky that I can work compressed hours so I do 4 days a week and on those days I work in the evenings after my daughter is asleep. This means I get one day a week when I can pick up and drop off and catch up on housework. I feel immense guilt that my daughter spends so much time in wraparound care (8-5:45 4 days a week, she's only 5) but there's nothing I can do.
I wouldn't look for TA roles in your position, it's badly paid work with no progression, I'd seek an office based role that is at least moderately flexible.

Top tip: watch out for inset days, the bane of my life, as there's never any childcare available. Now I usually book them as annual leave.

Part time. Work one long day where her dad picks her up and has her.
I've had to finish my work before school pick up on Tuesday Wednesday Thursday
Unfortunately there is no wraparound care for my school. ☹️

I went back to work full time when my daughter was 9 months old. Although I have a husband, he worked away all week so I was effectively a single parent Monday to Friday. My daughter attended nursery from 7.15am to 6pm 5 days a week. Mornings were a matter of getting up and dressed with breakfast at nursery and work for me. Evenings were home for a quick meal, bath and bed. When she got to school age she had to go to breakfast club and after school club. It was very hard work - I felt like I was constantly rescuing spinning plates from falling. Organisation, planning and routine are important. Weekends were spent cleaning, washing and food shopping etc and trying to have some family time. It's not easy at all but it is manageable. Do you have some financial support from your child's father for childcare etc?

Just been me and my DS7 since he waa 1. It's definitely easier he is now in school.
I work 37 hours over M-F but admittedly have a very understanding boss.
I take my break at the end if the day 3 days a week so I can do school pick up (10m walk from office to classroom door) and he goes to breakfast club every morning and after school club 2 days a week where I work longer days. School hols is a mix of annual leave and holiday club.
If I didnt have the flexibility I'd utilise after school club more.
I get UC which massively helps with childcare costs which are around 350 a month just now.
I dont drive so its very early starts but we are used to it, it can ve mbackering but we have at least one chill day at weekend to recharge and I try not to early too much about making sure everything's perfect

Excuse the typos and wrong words, hopefully you get the gist.im tired! My brain is worst enemy as doesn't switch off and I get crippling anxiety.

I work for NHS in an admin role. It's not the best paid or most fulfilling but while he's still in primary it's perfect

Worked full time. Paid for holiday clubs too but my child thrived. Absolutely loved nursey and the clubs. That made things easier

Hi OP. I do 30 hours over 4 days so not quite full time, 0.8.

DD's dad is not involved and I have no family willing/able to help with regular childcare. So DD is in breakfast and after school clubs 3 days. I try and WFH one day a week so can do do pickup/drop off on that day and my non working day. I work in the public sector which does offer a degree of flexi/hybrid working which really helps. I also have a very understanding line manager!

It is hard and I am knackered most of the time but DD is doing well which is the main thing

Everyone round here has a childminder and I'm amazed that that's not the main response here. Many people work full time although some do 3 or 4 days pw or compressed hours. Drop them at 8.00, pick up at 6. There's not much housework when no one's in the house all day and a cleaner is an option if you're on a decent salary. Online shop. It's tiring but manageable.

Mine are older and I live round the corner from the school. My job is almost all WFH. Drop them off at 8, start work at 8.05. collect them at 3.30 ( takes 10 mins). Plonk them in front of the tv. Finish work just after 4. Can get household bits done during the day.

I used a local childminder when I worked f/t from the office but now mine are older so they make their own way home. However, I work hybrid but mostly from home now so it works out better. Definitely do look for roles advertised as hybrid, flexible or remote to give you full flexibility.