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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Aibu to refuse to buy holiday clothes?

23 replies

Piscesmumma1978 · 27/08/2024 12:03

Exdh is taking our children away soon and they need clothes.

they’ve been told what clothes they’ll need and a lot they don’t have.

I’ve said no, he’ll have to buy it.

Aibu?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MadeForThis · 27/08/2024 12:19

His holiday so he buys.

WeregoingtoIbiza · 27/08/2024 12:20

My dsc would bring any clothes they wanted to take from home but any new clothes we would buy.

You shouldn't have to buy clothes for them to take away with their dad.

Andwegoroundagain · 27/08/2024 12:22

His holiday his clothes. The only exception is anything they carry from house to house and if you joint agree to purchase. For example my ex and I go halves on ski wear as we both like taking them skiing

IggyAce · 27/08/2024 12:23

Definitely up to him to sort clothes for the holiday.
How old are DCs?

Hayley1256 · 27/08/2024 12:24

No you shouldn't. My ex does this and it winds me up so much! I always end up sending my DD with clothes as I don't want her to be worried about it. I then just hope that nothing gets stained etc. If he is flat out refusing to buy clothes than I would send them with some bits you already have but not buy anything new

Notmydaughteryoubitch · 27/08/2024 12:24

Yup, when my DSC were younger they would bring the clothes they liked with them from their DMs but we also had clothes for them at ours and would buy an extras needed for holidays.

Original poster

Piscesmumma1978 · 27/08/2024 12:26

Teenagers. Thank you, my kids don’t agree with me but I can’t afford it.

OP posts:

LottieMary · 27/08/2024 12:53

Why do they need new holiday clothes? Don’t they have anything suitable? I rarely buy specifically for a holiday

Original poster

Piscesmumma1978 · 27/08/2024 12:54

It’s a sun holiday. They’ll need costumes, light clothes etc. Not things we have a lot of.

OP posts:

Ozanj · 27/08/2024 12:55

Piscesmumma1978 · 27/08/2024 12:26

Teenagers. Thank you, my kids don’t agree with me but I can’t afford it.

Just be honest with them. They’re old enough to understand you can’t afford it

SnapBang · 27/08/2024 13:00

He can transfer them some money to sort it out then.

SnapBang · 27/08/2024 13:01

you can get everything online these days anyway - can they just send him some links to what they want? He can order them.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/08/2024 13:04

I’d probably give them funds to buy a couple of things if I could afford it but if I couldn’t then I’d tell my DC that and I’d tell him that as well.

Gcsunnyside23 · 27/08/2024 13:08

Piscesmumma1978 · 27/08/2024 12:26

Teenagers. Thank you, my kids don’t agree with me but I can’t afford it.

I wouldn't even have a discussion with them, just state that it's their dad's responsibility so go speak to him. Why should you have expense for a trip he's decided on and nothing to do with you

Andwegoroundagain · 27/08/2024 13:16

Piscesmumma1978 · 27/08/2024 12:26

Teenagers. Thank you, my kids don’t agree with me but I can’t afford it.

If they are teens then just say that.
"Sorry I can't afford to buy you new clothes. You'll have to ask your Dad or make do with what you've got or try vinted"

Camembertcufflinks · 27/08/2024 13:30

I think if they don't have clothes for the climate they are travelling to I would buy them some very basic bits, if only so they don't suffer without. You run the risk he won't do it as he expects you will (yes he will be banking on this) but your teenagers will appreciate you doing it for them which is the most important thing.

Ariela · 27/08/2024 14:08

Send him links to everything - he can buy. Or tell him to send you the ££ and you'll order, but you do not have that kind of sum of money. Or, as the kids are teenagers, can he send a budget and sum of money with a list of what the kids need to buy and you're happy to supervise their online ordering.

AnneElliott · 27/08/2024 14:21

I completely get where you're coming from op but I would t want to send them with nothing in case he makes their life difficult. Surely they have T shirts and a swimming costume? I'd send what they have but yes he should purchase some clothes.

Is course if it's ski ing or something expensive like that then he'll have to buy it himself.

itsgettingweird · 27/08/2024 14:34

They must have something suitable? They can take those.

But I imagine some of the stuff is wants rather than needs?

If so, and they want clothes for the holiday dad is taking them on - they need to ask dad for some money. Primark will sell most if not all of what they need.

Id explain it to them as you don't have the money - and they wouldn't need the money for these clothes if they weren't going away. So they need to liaise with the parent taking them away to get the clothes they need for that trip.

Peonies12 · 27/08/2024 14:34

It’s his holiday so his responsibility. He sorts or he sends you the money so you can sort. Surely they have swimwear and a few summer clothes already? Seems a waste to buy a load of new stuff.

eurochick · 27/08/2024 15:40

He needs to sort it out if you wanted to take them skiing would he be expected to buy saloupettes and ski gloves? Obviously not.

Needmorelego · 27/08/2024 15:42

So they need shorts and t-shirts? Do they really not have any?

WeregoingtoIbiza · 27/08/2024 15:58

We've had a couple of mini heatwaves this year, what were they wearing then?
Surely they should have some shorts and t shirts from then.

Anything above and beyond that, their parent taking them away should buy.

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