Hello everyone.
I am new here and hoping that someone or a few people could help me with understanding child maintenance service.
i am a single mum to an amazing 12 year old daughter who has autism and dyspraxia: she is the best little lady ever, however her father unfortunately fails to see this.
I left him when my daughter was 3 and he has been bitter towards me since, despite having relationships with other people it seems as though when it comes to our daughter he cannot get over the fact I left him, which has left us having a turbulent ‘co parenting’ relationship.
without getting into too much details, I have an interdict in place and a residency order by the court; he has a very good job with BAE and before I went to CMS two year ago he would pay my daughter sporadically different amounts from £25-£150. Some months he simply wouldn’t pay, I told him enough was enough and called CMS. He advised me I would get ‘less than what he offered’ but I still went ahead as I knew it would be a set amount each month for her. They put in place that the first year he was to pay a little over £180 a month, the following year (last year) it went to £208 a month based on his HMRC real time information from the tax year 2022.
he has never missed a payment and we do direct pay.
however, upon our review date on 6th July 2024, his earnings for the last year that the HMRC gave CMS had drastically increased to the point in the annual review his new monthly payment to my daughter would be £423 per month.
he is supposed to pay her on 28th each month however he never does as he is four weekly paid on a Wednesday which he did send the money on. I contacted him asking did he receive the review and did he want to keep it to his wage day and not 28th of each month like the review said as it works for us and his response was ‘it’ll have to be’. So I took it that he grudged the amount he was now having to pay but that he would.
two week later he text saying he was now on ‘long term sick’ and I knew it was down to the payments and not wanting to pay that as if there is a 25% increase or decrease in the paying parents income the amount changes.
on 2nd August I got an email letter from CMS saying he has asked for a mandatory reconsideration due to the amount he has earned.
i contacted them asking what this meant and they said he is disputing the amount he earned however that they got the figure from HMRC and that he needs to provide evidence to say that wasn’t the correct figure. I have been told to wait until 26th August to hear the outcome of the reconsideration however I have tried to speak to CMS and asked the following;
if the HMRC have gave CMS the figure surely it is correct and his payments on the review should still stand?
how is he able to earn over double his earnings from the previous year last year and only give my daughter the amount based on the year priors figure.
does anyone know if the reconsideration takes into account the decrease in his income now he has went on the sick, that the amounts will be the £423 or will they be based on his new monthly income?
if so, how is he allowed to earn all the extra money he earned last year and only give my daughter the money based on his previous years earnings?
He has basically earned £900 a week from 2023/2024 (from the HMRC figure) and only gave my daughter £45 odd per week as that was the figure on the review based on his income from 2022 - does he get away with making more money and not having to pay what he should have been paying as the review is done annually on the date the CMS case comes live?
he provides my daughter with nothing: she does not stay over so there is no shared care, in fact he is very narcissistic towards her and manipulative in his messages, she has now took it upon herself after another one of his ranting texts to her to block him and delete him from her phone.
I have brought my daughter up myself for the last nearly 9 years providing her a warm safe loving home, I do what any decent parent should be doing from keeping her clothed and fed, to days out & away, holidays home and abroad, birthdays and Christmas (which he gives her nothing extra for), during the pandemic he never once asked to see her (despite it being in place separated parents could still have their child) never once text asking how she was or did she need anything despite knowing she is neurodivergent, he has never helped towards the cost of her school uniforms for the last 9 years. I go above and beyond for my daughter, as any parent should be doing. All whilst he takes himself to the other side of the world many times, has all the best of clothes and materialistic items. The one thing he should be doing his providing her with the money that CMS say he should be paying, but now he has went on the sick I am worried she won’t even get that.
I just do not understand how he is able to earn the figure he earned last year and get away with paying the small figured based on the previous year’s earnings; I understand if his income drops below the 25% decrease her monthly amount will drop however will the figure stand in place from before he went on the sick and go to her arrears?
I am sorry this is a lengthy message I am just so confused and without sounding like the stereotypical ex partner I do not want him to basically get away with earning so much and not contributing to his daughters life the way he should be.
I have spoke to CMS and they said to wait until the mandatory reconsideration is done before thinking about going to a tribunal if I disagree with the decision as they can’t say which way it will go but they also skate around the question why is he able to earn so much money to dispute it then to go on the sick to decrease his new income & what happens with all the income he’s made over the last year at the higher amount. I also asked them to change to collect and pay due to his abusive messages so we do not need any contact at all and again I was advised I would need to wait until the mandatory reconsideration is done. I know this will deduct 4% from my daughters CM which will be worth not having to speak to him and add 20% on top of his monthly amounts.
I should also mention he does work cash in hand too with a friend which I have proof in text messages with him asking me for a ‘loan’ of money until he gets that money from him which I would loan him before knowing how much he actually was earning. So I can only hazard a guess as to where his money is going as it’s part of the reasons I left him in the first place.
I have tried to maintain somewhat of a cordial relationship with him for my daughters sake but without giving everything to the internet he goes and does something else when you can’t think he can get any worse.
Thank you if you take the time to even read this.