How to deal

[sam328]

My ex husband had a partner (they don't live together) for the past 4 years my child has spent time with them both which I'm fine with. My child however detests this woman and I've always tried to remain neutral/put a positive spin as I don't want anything to affect her time with her dad

My ex husband has just passed away, this woman has made it clear she wishes to continue to see my daughter, shall I just say no?

Just say no. Sounds like your daughter wouldn't want to so why make her? She isn't a souvenir of her father for her father's (sadly) bereaved partner.

Thankyou for replying, I just don't want it to come across like I'm the bitter one, if there had been a good bond and my daughter was egar to see her then I would of course make arrangements

I imagine this is all very raw for both your DD and the partner. Could you maybe keep the lines of communication open for a while in case DD changes her mind when she is older? How old is DD? I wouldn't agree to anything on her behalf.

Perhaps you could go down the route of

"dc is obviously very upset just now but as soon as she says she'd like to come round to yours I will of course be in touch. Sorry for your loss".

And if dc isn't ever ready so be it...

Nobody has been bitter or nasty and the door is open for the future.

There is a bit more backstory...I've never met the woman, I know who she is and she knows who I am but my ex husband is my ex husband as he had an affair with this woman

My daughter is not keen as unfortunately the woman has made some very derogatory comments about me to my daughter so my daughter was very upset, my daughter is only 7. I've remained neutral throughout and always encouraged things positively as much as I can. My daughter spent the morning with my exes immediate family last Saturday and this woman was present then and has made it clear to my ex husbands family she will be seeing my daughter whenever she spends time with the immediate family

What's worse is that my daughter being so young she says what she sees with no filter so she read some messages she wasn't meant to on dads phone and he was openly seeing someone else for the past 5/6 months, I would hate my daughter to hurt the other woman and blurt something out when the other woman is grieving a partner

So that's another reason I just want to cut all contact

Well I guess if the partner is still close with your DD's grandparents and welcome at family gatherings then it will be tricky to keep her away completely. How is your relationship with your DD's GPs?

There are no grandparents just auntie and 2 uncles

Ok, well same questions apply. How is your relationship with the family and do you plan to prevent your DD from seeing the family as well?

It's good (surface level chat) my daughter will continue to see the immediate family regularly, to be honest I didn't even think he still had a partner as my daughter hasn't seen his partner for 3 months,

I think I'm just not going to stress and see how things unfold, if she's at family gatherings then so be it, im just going to stipulate that I entrust care of my daughter to her auntie or uncles when she goes but that's it