Sounds a very self pitying title but it's more self acknowledgement. I know I have messed up. I suffer with major depression and I'm on medication but some months especially in the summer I feel dread every single day. N my only release is bed time. I sit through work being anti social and getting judged because I seem so aloof but I'm using all my energy to stay in my seat and not walk out. I have two teenagers. One of which has mental illness herself. N aggression. N hate towards me. Most likely caused by my depression n not putting them first. Every day is a battle she's up n down my house gets smashed up, then she's depressed. It's my fault. N I can't fix it. I just don't know how I can get out of this dark space. I'm so bloody lonely n I know it's my fault because I don't engage with anyone I have no mental energy to be anything other than what I feel. Which is lost and depleted