My ex partner left when my daughter was 4 weeks old. He was always emotionally and financially abusive, and continues to be so up to this day.
When dd was 18 months old he assaulted me, leaving me lying in the road with head injuries. He did this in front of our child. I was granted a non molestation order and a prohibitive steps order. This led to residency going to court. The judge revoked the prohibitive steps order, shortened the non-molestation order from 12 to 6 months, and ruled that it would not be shown on his police record as it was “my word against his”, despite police attending the scene, as there were no witnesses that were willing to come forward. I was granted residency, with dd seeing her father for one overnight a week, and every second weekend. I know this has no bearing, but it was a female judge, which somehow made it all the worse. The order states that he must either be able to see her “or communicate with her” (which I take it means via phone or FaceTime) on these days.
5 years on and school have shared with me that they have concerns for DD’s welfare when she is with Dad. She is refusing to leave the school buildings when he picks her up and staff members refuse to be on their own with him if he is in the playground. He has sent her to school in inappropriate clothing on “numerous” occasions (a vest and a pair of knickers). Today I was sent a message urging me to make a Clare’s Law application regarding him, which I have done. I know it will not show the non-molestation order I took out.
He regularly sends me abusive messages (approximately twice a week) but has not threatened me face-to-face for a while.
I am over being scared of him. I want a fresh start for myself and for dd, and have been offered a lovely house 2 hours from where we are now. Dd is in the final stages of an autism assessment which has gone to panel, and we will get the outcome in three weeks’ time. School already treat her as autistic as her needs are quite pronounced, and she has input from the SENCO, but her father insists that she is “absolutely fine” and if a diagnosis is granted it is because I asked for one, not because she has autism. The school she would attend has excellent SEND provision, and feeds into a secondary with outstanding SEND provision.
I am scared that I will not be allowed to move away as his right to see dd trumps my right to move. We have lived here for the past 7 years as I have been too scared to rock the boat, but mentally I need a fresh start. I am so worn down by it all, and over the past 3 months his abuse has ramped up, so he has either had a relationship end or has lost his job (the two usual triggers for him to start taking it out on me and dd). I would feel so much more settled and comfortable if he wasn’t 20 minutes away by car.