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Am I being gaslit? Or is this reasonable?

3 replies

Overthinker89 · 13/07/2024 00:30

Hi all, would really value an unbiased take on this because I feel very confused. I coparent a child with my ex. His Dad has him 2 or 3 nights a week and then he is with me the remainder of the time or at nursery (22 months.) Today I got home from handover and realised my ex partner hadn't packed the thermometer I'd leant him or the ibroprophen for kids I had packed the previous evening. Our child has been ill for weeks following repeated UTIs and being resistant to some strains of antibiotics. He needs the baby ibroprophen to bring his high fever down and ofc the thermometer to test it. My ex just parked up the pram, said goodby to my son and left the handover spot. He skipped any handover info exchange despite me asking if he had had lunch and my ex just walked off before I had a chance to ask about the meds or thermometer. His house is just streets away from ours so after trying and trying to reach him by phone/text/email ANY way I could think of I just went to his house and politely knocked on the door. I needed the health stuff to keep my son below high fever threshold. Anyway, when I knocked it was like be saw red. Told me he was calling the police that I must GET AWAY from his space. It was quite bizarre!! I'd understand if I had a really track record of going there but I have literally only picked up my son from there a grand total of twice in 6 months. Instead honouring his dads request to meet for handovers at the local community centre. Anyway, I'm now worried sick. Could I get into trouble with police for so called "harassment" even though I knocked briefly and politely and asked him about the thermometer. I just needed him not to go AWOL on an afternoon when our son is ill.. any takes? Thanks lovely folk of Mumsnet

OP posts:
CheekyHobson · 13/07/2024 01:01

No, he probably had a girlfriend there and was freaking out about being caught.

He sounds very problematic and tbh I wouldn’t be lending him anything.

Liveanlearn · 13/07/2024 02:04

No but print out your messages to keep them in case he tries to suggest a bigger issue. Also I'd suggest just letting him keep the thermometer and ibuprofen etc so you know he's got them in case of future need. You shouldnt have to but its what is best for the child, however also message him to clearly state that's what you went there for, that you've now bought some, and that he can keep those.... And print those messages out in case they're needed later on. Keep it factual and the emotion out of it.

Overthinker89 · 13/07/2024 09:40

Thanks so much for responses. I have screenshotted all my messages asking him to meet me with the thermometer and painkillers and all examples of him ignoring all messages from me about son's health. Going there to try and speak face to face about our son at a time when he is ill and in and out of hospital was a last resort really. His reaction seems very bizarre to me I have never really just turned up on his doorstep before and definitely only contact him about our son. We live very separate lives other than the logistics of parenting. I texted multiple times beforehand asking if he could return calls and that I would pop over if I hadn't heard from him as I really needed the meds and the pharmacy was closed for lunch..no idea what is going on with him really. I think he stated he was calling the police out of anger.

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