I really need some advice/input as I feel like I'm going insane. I separated from my partner of 15 years in November. We have a 9 year old daughter together.
He lives 1.5 hour drive away, owns his own business and lives with his mum. He earns a decent amount of money and keeps making noise about buying his own house but it hasn't happened yet and I'm not sure it's going to.
At the moment, I have full care of our daughter. Ex sees her every so often for a few hours but never over night.
A few weeks ago we had an argument over text (I make sure everything is in writing) and he said he wanted 50/50 custody. I said ok but he'd need to work up to that as he hasn't even had her overnight by himself.
He then said he'd have her every other weekend. I said that's fine. Only in the last month, he has had her on his own for a total of 5 hours. He also saw her for her birthday but that was at my house when I was there.
I lost my shit with him today as I need him to have her this Saturday as I am away for some family issues (too outing to go into much detail but it's not something fun and I'd rather not have to do it). I asked him if he would have her but he said he's busy. Then he messaged me back saying he would have her but I'd have to drive her down to his mum's and then pick her up again afterwards.
He also said he would be happy to have her every other weekend but I'd need to do half the driving of taking her down there. He said this was common in custody agreements. This is time and money I do not have.
I work full-time but don't earn a huge amount like he does. He pays me £50 a week maintenance. I don't own my home,can barely make the rent payments and feel sick about money right now.
Is this a normal arrangement for me to have to facilitate driving her down to him and back?
Since leaving him I have accessed counselling. It wasn't a pleasant relationship all the time and it's only been since coming out of it, I've realised how unhealthy it was. I feel a bit broken by it all and don't know if I'm feeling like this because of the relationship breakdown....
Our daughter loves him and he does love her. She wants to spend time with him but when I'm doing 100% of the care and struggling financially, it stings a bit that I then have to take her to him and back.
I can't afford a solicitor and think it'll massively antagonise the situation anyway 😞