Child arrangements order or consent order - advice please

[Sunsparkles]

If I write out a child arrangements document with a contact time calendar/schedule and present it to court will this stop my ex from continuing to demand a re-negotiating of the agreement every time the wind blows?

If I do which route should I take, consent order or child arrangements order?

The reason I am seriously considering an order is because I just want an agreement that we make to be honoured and not constantly challenged (happening every 3-6 months and the renegotiation can take 2-3 months or more). He wants more contact then less then more then less....it's exhausting, unnecessary and usually ends up back pretty much where we started.

I am not trying to keep the children from him, neither am I willing to agree a plan that only works for him. I just want a schedule to be agreed and then followed. That's it. Not too much to ask surely?

And before anyone says, I do know (from legal advice and mediation previously) that there is no arrangement that can make him have the kids if he doesn't want to. But I believe he does want to have them (and I have no concerns over him having them) I just don't believe that the children and I should have to bend to suit his desires. Also, if it's possible it would be nice if the order could state that should he break the contact time or other element of the order that I can with hold contact time or similar...🤔 (A bit like KPI's in a contract - yes I'm a contract manager lol)

Not sure if I understood you right, but you can't draft something for court to rubber stamp and make into an order. You'd need to apply for a child arrangements order, then the other party has to either agree or disagree with your application. If he agrees, you two can agree to present a consent order together, which the court can seal. That will be legally binding. If he doesn't agree to what you ask, then both parties fight their corner and the judge will order what they think is best for the child.

Also no, it's not a thing that court would allow you to withhold contact time if he "breaks the order" and doesn't come pick the child up. In fact if you're the resident parent, the order will be worded along the lines "mother will need to make child available to father on days X, Y and Z". That means the onus is on you to comply - he's not breaking the order if he doesn't pick the child up, as he won't have been ordered to do anything. Also the orders are there to bring stability to the child, which that sort of a clause definitely wouldn't do.

I'd try sort this outside of courts, maybe try mediation or a written plan etc, and put some boundaries in place?