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Telling ex about new relationship

1 reply

sooverthisnow76 · 17/06/2024 10:43

My ex and I split up 2 years ago. We have 3 DC, aged 9, 11, 15. I have been seeing someone for the last 8 months and I want to at least make the DC aware that I’m involved with someone. So far they haven’t known about it as I saw no need, but there are a few social things coming up where there will be mutual friends or even friends of the DC around where it’s likely to become common knowledge. I don’t want them finding out as a shock at the wrong moment, or from someone else.

I’m not going to introduce him to them yet, just make them aware of it. I feel the right thing to do is also let my ex know, so that the DC don’t feel they are keeping secrets or worry about saying the wrong thing.

Never had to do this before so I guess I’m asking, is this the right way to do it? Tell ex then tell the DC? I should add ex’s reaction is not at all predictable but could turn into drama. That’s another reason I want to tell him before he hears it from the DC. That way I get to deal with his initial reaction, not them.

OP posts:
sunflowrsngunpowdr · 17/06/2024 22:37

I've never done this before but I believe the popular way is to tell your kids when they are with you and then send a short to the point text to your ex to tell him you have told the kids you are seeing someone new. They have taken it well. Just letting you know.

Personally, if it is at all possible I do think it's good for new partners to be introduced to exes when there are children involved (at the right time not straight away) as it's better to try and get along and I think parents have the right to know who their kids are spending time with but I appreciate this isn't always possible and a lot of people on MN won't agree.

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