Child maintenance

[BeNeatScroller]

Why are men so awful with paying child support?
My ex kicked me out of our rented house when we split up, I lived with my parents for a year with our daughter. I then got my own place just as he moved out of the rented house back in with his mum. He has been out of a job for about a year and has recently got a new job, baring in mind, I’ve still had to send my daughter to a childminder and pay for it whilst he’s been off work because “they aren’t his days”. He said he will pay me £100 a month, when I asked his this morning, he said no because I’ve got a new boyfriend now, so he should help me, or my mum should. I want to scream and give him some home truths.
How do men get away with his, and better yet how do they sleep at night?!

He has her 3 nights one week, and 1 night the next

He has her 3 nights one week, and 1 night the next

Sad to say in the case of my ex , who had an affair, it’s because they can ! He then went no contact with dd when she was 5 , she’s now 25 !

I tried this, and it’s when he quit his job so he didn’t have to pay. He said to me that in my eyes it helps our daughter if he gives me money but in his it only helps me

CMS didn’t even award the £7/week flat rate? What about when he starts working again?

No, he didn’t even claim benefits, he lived off his parents and nan. I ended up closing the case as it wasn’t worth it. I told him earlier on that I will be going through CMS and he went absolutely mental. He is very emotionally abusive and it makes me really anxious

I agree.

And if he keeps being abusive you can look into a non molestation order.

Just do CMS again and don't close the case even if he quits his job. The money if for your child and if he never pays you are no worse off but maybe he will get fed up always having to quit work and stay ahead of it and finally accept he will have to pay.

But I'm with you. I also have a piece of shit ex who will do an awful lot to get out of paying his maintenance. He didn't quit but he went part time to pay me less and leeches off his new woman. I hate hate hate how easy it is for men to do this to their children and I feel frustrated that it's just acceptable in our society

I'm sorry your going through this but just for a balancing view point not all men are bad at paying their maintenance. I have paid every penny asked of me despite having to fight tooth and nail in court to see my 2. I've spent over £25 k in court and legal costs and driven myself round the bend. I have been accused falsely of everything from assaulting my kids yo being a paedophile. Ultimately I gave up when the money ran out. Working hard to pay solicitors only increased her maintenance and I still had to do without. I have 2 dc's with my new partner who also miss out because of her behaviour. I should feel entitled to pay nothing but I keep telling myself the money is for the kids and pay it.

Claim CMS.

Insist on contact only through one of the parenting apps. I haven't used one so can't think of their names but someone will know. This should limit your anxiety if you know that is the only way he can contact you. Block him from contacting you on any other method. If hand over is a problem, find a different way to do it. Only respond to issues relating to contact. Ignore anything relating to any other issues. He's not worth it.

If he continues to be abusive then speak to the police about a non molestation order. Other useful resources for you are:

1. the freedom programme
2. gingerbread - the lone parents charity
3. womens aid
4. rights of women