Just struggling

[PiscesMama]

I work full time and have always been a single mum. My little one is 16 months and I've never had time away from him since he was born, other than to work. We have a small family and although I have had a lot of help from them since he was born with buying things which I am so grateful of, I just feel so lonely. I spend every weekend trying to find things for us to do because I just can't spend the whole weekend in the house with him, he needs stimulating and I need yo get out o the house with him. Nobody ever reaches out to want to do anything with us, even go to the park. I end up going everywhere with him on my own. My parents seem to only want to spend time with him if I go round there which isn't always possible when I have housework to do as well; I can't spend the day sitting at their house because unfortunately I don't have someone magically doing my washing for me when I am out! I juggle everything and I have said many times to them, "I won't get to you this weekend but you are welcome to come to us" and they never do. I am crying out for them to come to me to take some strain off and spend time with us here 😢. I just don't know why they don't want to spend the time because I know they adore my son. I raised the issue with my mum briefly and she said she has housework to do but again- so do I and there are three adults living in her house! I just feel so lonely and let down. I lost my best friend who turned her back on me when I had my baby because I couldn't go out and be carefree and fun anymore and I just feel like it's me and my son on our own in the world.

Hey I just wanted to reply to say you aren't on your own! I know that doesn't help much but things will get easier - that's what I keep telling myself. I have 3 year old twin boys and my ex husband has no contact with them, I don't have any family apart from my sister and my ex in laws don't see the boys either. I'm an older mum so my friends that do have kids have older children (I also have a 15 Yr old daughter) and partners so they tend to be busy doing their own things at weekends. I also have to think of things to do to fill the weekends because staying at home isn't an option with my twins. It's hard and mine are going through a difficult phase which isn't helping but I do know as they get older things will change and the loneliness I feel now won't be here forever. I think its alot to deal with when your relationship breaks down and you're left with sole care of children. Just wanted to send you a hug and to say whilst it doesn't feel like it now things will get better x

It is a shame that your parents aren't making more effort, but if they aren't, they aren't and for your own sanity, stop banging your head against a wall and put your energy into other things.

This is really hard, but it will get easier as your child gets older and starts school. Soon your weekends will be a blur of play dates and class parties and swimming lessons and clubs, but for now, it is hard to think of activities all the time. I would say have a look at local church groups and if they run a toddler group/sunday school. I took my boys to the local sunday school and it is mostly arts and crafts with a bit of singing and dancing and a bible story at the end. I think you hear "church" and you think of intense judgement and all the various scandals, but the churchgoers I have met are the most welcoming and kind hearted people and there is a lovely sense of community (regardless of whether you have a faith or not).
Take a look also at local libraries. The one near me has baby rhyme time, toddler tails, train track club (brio), and various other clubs for older children like chess and coding. Loads of stuff.

Look on Facebook for mum groups in your local area and see if there are any scheduled meet ups. If there isn't, maybe suggest one?

The more stuff you do, the more likely you are to meet other people with kids and then you can arrange playdates once you make friends.