Money

[Daisy12Maisie]

I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways but I don't have anyone in real life I can talk to at the moment so just ranting.

I have a full time job that is very stressful. I've missed out on a lot with my children because of it. It's relatively well paid but it's still a struggle to pay for everything on my own.

I owe just over £18 thousand pounds that I'm trying to keep on top of/ eventually pay off.

So I'm able to buy food etc so I know I shouldnt be morning. I just can't seem to pay off the debt. I don't think my financial situation is terrible but it just
feels like a struggle however hard i work.

One of my children is working away so with his permission I have rented out his room to try and use the money to help with his driving lessons and to pay off some bills.

There is a drama now with the lodger not paying rent. I won't go into details as I'll be here all night but if it's not sorted they will need to move out and I'll get another one. I'm just fed up. I don't want a lodger. I don't want to be working all the hours I work. I don't want everything to be such a struggle all the time just to pay for basic things although I appreciate trying to pay for the driving lessons in the first place was a step too far.

I just thought people in this group as fellow lone parents might understand that it's crap always having to do the job of 2 people and not having anyone to talk it all through with. I hate having all the responsibility on my own. Not the responsibility of the kids but the financial responsibility of trying to manage everything.

Absolutely fair play to those of you who are managing it without a well paid job. Hats off to you.

Sorry to hear it OP - being a LP is so tough! Are you claiming any Universal Credit you might be entitled to (if you are entitled to it?). If not, what are your outgoings like? Do you overspend day to day? Getting them down might help you to get on top of your debt a bit more.

Ah I'm sorry OP that sounds so tough - rant away you don't need to think you can't complain just because others 'have it worse'

Really really hope you can replace your lodger asap with one that can pay rent as it sounds like it would really help

Thank you for the reply. I really appreciate it.
I'm not entitled to universal credit as I earn over the amount. The debt is built up from house repairs that I took out loans for.
I do have some luxuries like the gym so maybe I do need to have a year where I cut that out. I really love going though.
Other than that I don't buy clothes. I shop at Ald etc. I did have to get a new phone when mine broke in November but I didn't get the latest model.
I don't get things like hair/ nails done although I would like to.

My mortgage went up £400 so that's when I had to get the lodger.

I know I just need to spend as little as possible and chip away at debt. It's just getting to me that I am really trying with the lodger etc and now that is causing issues as well. I know it's just one more hurdle to get through but what I'm trying to say is that it does seem relentless as a single parent as every problem is mine to solve.

How old is the youngest ?

if oldest is working away . I would say he needs to be saving for driving lessons.

18k of debt is a lot . It won’t go down quickly .

Do look if you can transfer the debt to lower repayment Martin Lewis has some great advice .

is there an option for a cheaper gym ? You need some life .

its tough .

Thank you for the latest reply.

My youngest is 15.

My eldest has passed his driving test now so no more lessons needed and he doesn't need anything else.

The lodger situation has also resolved itself. I just had a few hours of thinking it was one thing after another. So I have a new lodger who moved in as they needed somewhere urgently due to a relationship breakdown. The money helps so much as it's tax free to rent out a room.

I'm paying £435 a month for a loan for building work. June 2025 is the last payment so there is light at the end of the tunnel with that one.

The rest is a second loan for basically an expensive disaster that happened to the house. That is being paid back over a couple of years. It just seems to have been expensive problem after expensive problem with the house.

As far as I know I have no more big expenses coming up. Nothing planned anyway unless anything else breaks!

I will look at that website for advice- thank you.

I'm also home cooking everything as I prefer to do that anyway.

I am also due a payrise at the end of August. Not a lot but will work out as about £50 a month so that will help.

I'm writing everything down so hopefully I'll see an improvement over the next few months.

You're right it is tough lone parenting. It's hard dealing with the finances, the emotional stuff, the physical stuff (mine are 8 and 11), the demands, work, chores, school things, mental load, time constraints..... argh it never ends!

Just showing support that you're not alone, I have some debt as I owed ex some money. It's going to take about 5 years to pay it back but I'm hoping it's quicker.

Any "loose change" in my bank account at the end of the day, I transfer to my loan. I do this every day and it adds up.

Might do a vinted sale once I've sorted through the clothing over summer to get some more cash.

It's hard OP. Use the payrise to clear down your debt quicker if you can.

Have you considered things like getting rid of TV license? Ok it cuts down what you can watch but you can watch catchup on all channels (except BBC) for free - there's a lot of options.

All the little things can add up so just try to think of little things whereby you can save a bit. Ask your kids for ideas as well. E.g. non branded goods, second hand uniform / clothes, if you need something buy it on fb marketplace etc etc. Use bus instead of have a car and so on.

There are lots of ideas for frugal living that are quite fun and surprisingly easy to implement. Ok it's not ideal but little habits can add up to make a big difference.

There are also sites that pay you to do things like £150 to switch bank account, or £5 voucher for a supermarket app or whatever. It might be worth trying a foodbank, or changing your diet to something more basic (home made lunches, simple dinners without meat) but healthy.

Yes it's not perfect but these things do chip away and if you aim to do one thing a day or week to help, one small change etc you might find it makes a big difference overall.

https://www.reddit.com/r/UKFrugal/

https://www.reddit.com/r/beermoneyuk/

couple of subreddits that might give you some food for thought.

It's all about changing your mindset and habits. Start small and keep at it.

Thanks all. It was just solidarity I wanted really. I feel a bit better now. I will overpay what I can and write everything down as it makes me feel slightly better to see the number going down.
I will look at all the suggestions. I don't pay a tv licence as I don't actually ever watch tv. I think I'll keep the gym for now but no other luxuries.
Most of it I don't actually care about anyway but it's more the worry of what to do if something else breaks so I definitely need an emergency fund going forward.

Also I'm going to mend my son's blazer tomorrow. I can't remember how much a new one is but I think it's £36 so that will help if I can just sew the old one up.

Is it possible for you to get a new job that will be less stressful? A change in lifestyle may help.

Weekdays I'm out of the house from 7.15am-5.45pm, and in the running for a couple of roles that pay more than my current job but will allow me 2-3 days working from home and is closer to home, meaning I'll be able to spend more time with DC.

EXDP does absolutely nothing for the DC during the weekdays, as apparently him picking them up one day (which I suggested when we went to court) would be too stressful for him, despite the fact he works from home majority of the time, and lives 20 minutes away from us.

That sounds tough @Starseeking fingers crossed you get a new role soon!!

I relate to the ex picking them up, my ex has been an arse about this over the years and still brings it up every now and again but I've told him to lump it.

Well done OP for all your amazing achievements and strength. Working full time, raising kids and paying/sorting everything on your own. Rest assured, you are not alone. You seem to be mega organised and budget conscious. I raised my son on my own and lived my life on an overdraft until 4 years ago. I was always having to account for every pound and doing overtime to keep the boat afloat!
Take care of yourself and give yourself a round of applause🙏