CMS or private payment agreement

[whycantitbecalm]

Which is the better choice?

Ex last his job 6 months ago and "failed to tell me" he was receiving a considerable pension income.

I consider this lying, he claims to not realise counts as income 🤪 and wanted to pay zero pounds to support his 3 children

He now has a new job about to start and i don't trust him to be telling me the truth about payments.

We currently have a private arrangement, if i went through the CMS is he likely yo be more held to account! And prove his incomes etc?

i don’t know the answer but in similar position private arrangement is now so low he’s taking the piss (he’s in considerable debt and keeps receiving money from his family) keeps hinting he’s about to lose job rolling redundancies, nothing to show for it with suspected gambling. Story keeps changing. My head says to go through CMS but I’ve no experience so not sure if it would make things worse.

Go through CMS and request it be taken directly from his wage

@IsThisOneAvailable don't you have to pay for that option?

But for peace of mind that you are actually going to receive the right amount, I'd say it's worth it?

It was £20 to initially apply - they then check hmrc figures each year . You can do direct payment then . I honestly think it is easier

Can I ask if you did this and how it worked out.
I have just started a CMS claim as ex pays and then stops when he wants me to do something or tries to make me force the kids to see him.

I emotionally and mentally can't deal with it anymore so made a claim so that CMS will deal with him.

Just looking for some advice

@Emm220884 i didn't move to CMS no, my ex also tried to use the money to blackmail me since i posted, but eventually paid after i completely ignored him.
Had he carried on being an idiot about it, i would have and may still apply to them. But he's gone through yet another job change and has to send me evidence of his income, which he is doing at the moment.

I think you're right to have applied though, you don't need the worry of it all. Its that final but of control that they can't let go of x

Thank you for replying.
I've honestly not known how to manage it.
Still filled with dread, if I am honest.
I've had the messages to say they are contacting him, so I guess it is a waiting game xx

Go with the cms, at least you are guaranteed s payment. If he doesn't pay they can take him to court and make him

I finally went through CMS after 13 years of low, irregular payments. Offered to do direct pay, he's making a fuss so I've just requested they take the payments. I may or may not get it but the principal is as much a thing as anything. I've reach a point that after him leaving the family to go off with someone else, then later moving area and barely seeing them he doesn't deserve my consideration of his 'struggles'. My children are the priority.

Tbh, I'm exhausted. He left me when my youngest was two. The four children are now 26, 24, 18 and 15. I've had to work full time, run a house, pay all the bills, care for the children and pay all their expenses completely alone for the last 13 years. He helped out a bit when he first left but over the last five years or so he's moved area so he's nearly two hours away. He has upset my older children by moaning they don't come and see him - they are either working full time or in education. He makes no effort to see them or invite them and will change plans at the last moment. He isn't working full time and makes constant excuses why he can't support his children. I used to tolerate the lack of payment while he was still emotionally involved with them for their sake but now my patience has gone.

After writing the post, I applied to CMS. It was so easy. My payments have more than doubled. For the last 14 years he's kept a lid on what he earns so that I didn't ever question it.
All I'd ever read was horror stories about payments from CMS, this was all done a dusted in a 10 minute for and then a letter telling me the outcome.
My 2 only knew they had one brother. Apparently they have four brothers 🤣🤣.
We have struggled for years, now at the point of it almost being too late, it becomes easier.

@Emm220884 Glad to see you are now getting more money now, albeit late. The CMS payment system desperately needs updating.