Sorry for voicing this

[Hoolahup]

I know I'm not tough enough with my adult kids. They've worn me down. They work and keep out of trouble but I get no help from them with jobs round the house. One pays £100 digs. Other is an apprentice.

The following happened today.

One leaves shit marks in toilet often. It's been quite bad recently as 'on a new healthy diet'. I said to them both - someone not cleaning up after themselves, whichever one of you it is, clean up after yourself. I didn't point fingers.

Same happened yesterday and today. It's the same adult as other on a night shift.

I was about to go to sleep so texted adult B, as they smoke weed daily and was out smoking.

Text said - brown stuff under seat, I don't want to clean it.

To that txt, I was again sworn at, told 'you're too hard on me', that I'm a joke, waste of space...I could go on

Theyve both had everything they required growing up - I was too soft.

This is the adult child who was gifted £9k ( from an inheritance I received) and loaned £12k for a car.

I have multiple health issues brought on by the stress they cause. They take turns to harangue me. They just won't leave home.

They genuinely believe I'm at fault.

Too hard because I tell them to pick up after themselves like if snacking in living room and I tell them to take their plates to the kitchen. Not even saying to wash them or anything. But I shouldn't have to. A 26 year old needing to be told to pick up after themselves? I've failed somewhere.
When I said 'would you do that at your mate's house (toilet)', the answer was 'yes'!😳

Can you sell up and move to a one bed?

They are adults now, and if they won't move - you still can.

Their rooms are like something out of hoarders. The house needs work done but embarrassed to let builders in. Adult A, the apprentice, just asked to stay another 18 months while saving for a deposit. I said ok. I don't want to kick them out just for them to do what we expect as parents - to stand on their own feet and to visit every now and then for family dinners. If they don't move, yes I will sell up and move to a smaller place. I'll put up for another 18 months.

They'd not be under my roof if they swore and me and refused to clean up their literal shit. Even my 12 year old does that if she makes a mess in the loo.

You need to send them on their way as they seem to think they are mature enough and certainly should be at 26. I left home at 18 and it was the best thing to ground me.

I keep telling them it's time to move out. I sometimes think they want me to have a stroke or something so they can get the house. They were urging me to sign over the house to them, a couple of years ago. I'm not that stupid, I told them

My advice to other lone parents would be to not be too soft on their kids. I felt like because they didn't have another parent, I didn't want their lives to be with a parent who was too tough on them. I've done them a disservice.

Kick em out.

It's your house. You need to set the boundaries.
Can you rent their rooms out and tell them you need the money?

They need a section 21...fast track one with a month's notice.

You aren't even considering yourself in this shit show. And once dc get to adulthood you bloody well should be woman!!

I need back up. I sound pathetic. They'll get the extra 18 months, which will take one to age 30 (the apprentice) and the other 28. How would you get them out if they refuse? The only option I can see would be to call the police but that seems a bit extreme.

Posted this before seeing the section 21 post. I'll look into that, thank you.