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Mum guilt

2 replies

Felic23 · 17/05/2024 13:08

Just wondering if anyone feels the same..since the cost of living I've had to work a lot more hours to be able to afford to have a semi decent life. Single Mum to 15 year old boy. Feel guilty that I'm out the house so much. I work 4 days a week then every other weekend. He doesn't seem to mind and has lots of friends.
I have no family so there is no one to take him out/spend time with him
On the occasion I'll ask him to come out with me he is usually busy! I try and take him out once a month just to cafe or something as he doesn't like walks etc anymore. I just feel so guilty that he's home alone so much. Feels like life is just work, bills and guilt.
Being a single parent to a teenager feels lonely and not as simple as when they were young!

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toadintheholefan · 17/05/2024 13:28

Oh OP, I’m constantly grappling with the mum guilt too. My situation is a little different as my son is only 2, but I can never shake the guilt of not being with him as much as I would like.

I’ve been raising him solo since day one and the plan originally was to only work part-time after my mat leave. Then came the COL crisis and my hours have steadily increased over the last year, and I’ve been full-time since January. I hate it. I hate that he’s so small and I’m missing so much. But I also hated the constant worry - the actual physical pain in my stomach when anything unexpected came up that I needed to pay for - of being on a lower income.

I’m counting down the days until the funded hours childcare kick in in September and will, hopefully, be reducing my hours at work then. I know that the years with being small are so fleeting, but I also know the stress and anxiety of worrying about money. I just feel like I can’t win. And, while I’m sorry to hear that you also feel this as the mum to a teen, I do take some comfort in knowing I’m not alone.

Can anything change in your circumstances,
do you think?

Sending solidarity. And thanks too for starting this thread.

Try and go easy on yourself. The worry means you care, and you’re doing what’s best for you and your son ❤️

Felic23 · 17/05/2024 13:41

Thanks for reply. I've heard about the funded hours for 2 year olds which is great! Fingers crossed when the time comes you can reduce your hours and have more time as I think especially important when their young.

Nothing will change for me as I have to work the hours I'm working, they have just increased the amount you have to earn to receive UC so definitely no chance of reducing hours.

I guess my Son can see me working hard and knows I'm trying my best. It was easier in a way when he was young and in child care as he was being looked after.
Once there old enough without siblings, other parent etc they are just home alone :(

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