Depends what your definition of ok financially is.
I feel i do ok financially, but i get my hair cut once a year, i wear rubber flipflops rather than shoes never get takeaways and can't have friends over as i can't afford food/drink for guests. When we do go out anywhere it's always a childbased activity for my son (zoo/cinema etc) and I do not buy food or drink while we are out, we take our own to keep costs down. I don't smoke or drink either.
People who seem to be doing ok are more than likely living on credit or working cash in hand. A recently single mum i know told me she cut up her creditcard after going on a £200 clothes shopping spree coz she was feeling down. I could never allow myself to get in debt like that, knowing I wouldn't be able to pay it back and paying out money on interest and charges is like throwing money in the bin to me. If i can't afford it i don't buy it.
So while i do ok financially i could be a lot more comfortable and more money coming in would allow me to have a more normal life and certainly some kind of social life. It would also stop people asking me if my feet aren't cold when i'm wearing flipflops all winter long!
I would suggest you look at your situation with a fine tooth comb. I recently dropped some of my hours at work as perversley it made me no worse off financially to work less hours. My WTC went up and the reduced salary meant less tax to pay too. Less travel expenses and less to pay out for holiday child care etc meant overall i was about the same financially as before but got to have a day at home each week instead! I also had to turn down a pay rise for the same reason, that it would actually leave me worse off financially! My boss was very understanding and gave me a free place in the staff car park instead which i don't get taxed on and i don't have parking to pay for now. So think about speaking to your human resorces department and seeing what they might be able to suggest in terms of maximising your income while minimising the tax you have to pay.
Speak to the CAB and see if they can help you with the figures as far as checking you have all you are entitled too as far as benefits go, especially WTC & CTC which are impossible to calculate your entitlement from the vague info the benefit people give you on them. You might find droppinga few hours makes you better off.
Also are you getting all the maintenance your children are entitled too? If not look at sorting this out. You owe it to yor children to ensure they are provided for properly by your ex.
And then i'm afraid it's time to tackle your spending and work out where your money goes and what you can cut back on. List everything you spend for a month. Do you have a cup of coffee when you go out at lunch time? Can you make your own sandwiches rather than buying lunch while at work? Get your children to make birthday & christmas cards rather than buying them. You may already have done things like this, but it can be useful to look at your spending and see where it all goes.
I budget severly and put money aside each month for emergencies.
It is very hard, but you have to ask yourself how much money would be enough for you to consider yourself as being 'ok financially'. Everyone always thinks they could use a bit more, but try and live to what you have and make the most of it.
Best of luck
Gilly