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Advice re Ex and contact - how much am I supposed to take?

2 replies

H54 · 15/05/2024 20:40

Hi, just looking for some advice, I left my daughters father when she was around 3 months old. I suffered after having her, and he wasn’t a support he emotionally abused me quite often and I become really unhappy. Since I left I’ve always tried to encourage a relationship but he won’t have her, if he has her it’s for around an hour and I have to take her and pick her up as he doesn’t have anything. He threatens me when it comes to her, saying she’ll realise for herself one day and that he’ll take her from me, it breaks my heart I’m the one who’s cared for her and he gives me nothing but abuse majority of days. I’ve had enough of dealing with this, I feel lost in what to do. He recently has started speaking to new people which is fine, but apparently they’re going to be her new mummy. How much am I supposed to put up with? Why am I the one encouraging the relationship and he gives nothing back? But thinks when he gets someone new, he’ll be having her more. Where do I go from here? I’ve suggested mediation/court but to him it’s not worth it he said, should I just do it anyway? There’s so much that’s gone on, but I just can’t cope with it all anymore. Any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:
Sunsparkles · 28/06/2024 18:45

I know this was posted a while back, and I don't have a huge amount of helpful advice for you, but being in a similar ish situation I wanted to let you know I hear you and understand a little of how desperate and unfair this situation is.

My only advice would be to let him come to you if he wants to have any sort of relationship with his child, and hold your boundaries. I suspect you'll have a peaceful and enjoyable life without him in it and as hard as that is to be the only parent, it's a damn sight easier than the stress of an uncooperative ex!

Dartsplayer · 28/06/2024 18:54

100% I would get a Child Arrangement Order in place. Mediation (if he doesnt attend or you are exempt you will get a MIAM form to go straight to Court) then you will need to complete a C100 form to apply for the CAO. You could also get a Prohibited Steps Order to stop him from taking her from your care due to the threats. You don't need a solicitor, you can represent yourself. Good luck

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