Cross posting here to get insight from other lone parents.
My son's father is a bully and abusive. Over the years, I've been very scared of him but trying to stand up to him more recently.
We share the week May half term with my half first and handover on a Wednesday. This year, rather than going back to school on the Monday, there are two teacher training days meaning he won't be back at school until Wednesday. He goes to his dad's wednesday after school overnight.
I messaged his dad to say we should share the two teacher training days as I don't want to be away from him from Wednesday until the following Thursday. I am babysitting for my niece on the Tuesday so said it made for our son to be dropped off on the Monday evening or Tuesday morning as they'd like to spend the day together.
My ex sent a long rambling response saying he wouldn't be doing that and he'd be having both days. He said "there's no extra days for me" which of course there is. He's also had all the bank holidays this year and I've made little fuss.
I need to send an assertive message back to say that this isn't how it works, he doesn't get to dictate these things. But I've been writing things and deleting them because I just sound too emotional and upset
What would you write?