Hi, I'm going to try and get in as much information as possible because I need advice!
so im a mother of 4, in 2022 my mental health took a very bad turn I was hospitalised a couple of times, social services were involved as safeguarding was done by the hospital after an overdose and a family support worker was assigned to us, the older children made disclosures to SS about their dad shouting and swearing at them before I was hospitalised and when that happened the focus was on me not being safe around the children.
When I was discharged from hospital I was discharged into the care of my parents so myself and the kids dad split up and it was put in place by the family support worker that I could not have the children alone for that time being. During my illness I did suffer from psychosis and had intrusive thought surrounding the children coming to harm whilst in my care. So I do understand why I wasn't allowed to be alone with the children. I was put on new medication, received intensive therapy and have been stable for almost 10 months now.
I got my own place and in July of 2023 our case was closed and the family support worker said that when the children's dad felt comfortable I would be allowed the children alone again. This happened from August and I've recently increased the amount of time the children spend with me. Nothing legal was ever put in place both myself and the children's father both have parental responsibility.
my issue now is the state of the house they live in with their father, it is extremely unclean to the point where people won't visit anymore as it's so dirty, the house smells of urine, the sink drainer has stagnant water sitting in it, the bathroom is in my opinion unusable the toilet is very very dirty. The children's bedding rarely gets changed there's mouldy food in their Ed rooms, mould thick around the windows.
the children's school Clothes are always clean and far as achool are concerned the children are always well presented and clean.
I will be speaking with him about getting the house cleaned but it's so bad he will need professional cleaners in. my worry is that im now concerned for the children's health and if he doesn't get the house up to a safe standard I would like the children to live with me full time. However im concerned if he refuses then I will have a battle on my hands and he can use my mental health history against me.
im basically looking for advice on where I'd stand if he doesn't sort the house out and also refuses me having them full time?
I just want what is best for my children. I know this is long as I wanted to make sure all the info was there.
thanks in advance