Feeling ashamed I have to use a food bank …

[Bambamxx]

Hi all ,

I really hope there is no judgment on my post, but I guess I should expect some as this is the internet after all…

im a single mum to 2 (5 and 7) after my relationship breakdown with their dad just before Christmas. Since then I have lost my job due to MH and now relying solely on benefits.
we have a great family support worker who gave me a food bank voucher this week to be used tomorrow once they’re open (Monday).

money is so incredibly tight for me and the children and I’m struggling to make ends meet with debts, bills and the small amount of child maintenance I receive from their dad.
im so so nervous about going to the food bank tomorrow, I feel so ashamed that my children cannot rely on me. I genuinely feel worthless. Has anyone ever used a food bank that could maybe put my mind at ease?

It’s what food banks are for! Most people could have a change of circumstances and need one.
Nobody can judge. Maybe in the future things will be better for you (I am sure they will be 💐) and you can donate to a food bank, if not use them and don’t feel bad.

I'm really pleased to hear it went well - I was going to ask you how it went. Your post was really sad that you felt shame to use a food bank which you shouldn't! We all need help from time to time after all and you say you have donated in the past so you know that those of us who donate do so because we want to do something helpful. Take the help and hold your head up high x

I donate whenever I remember because I work on the basis of there but for the grace of god go I.....I haven't had that sudden change in circumstances that screws your whole world and leaves you without choices. I would never think less of someone for using one and it makes me sad that so many need them.

I’ve volunteered in the local foodbank. Never, ever feel ashamed. We see so many different people at the foodbank, sometimes it’s people who have had to pay a big bill and are short for the month and some who aren’t claiming the correct benefits.
Well done to you- you’re clearly an excellent mum.

A good mum is one who puts her kids first, and that's what you did today @Bambamxx .

Starting off as a single parent is crazy difficult but gradually you'll get into the swing of it; your mental health will get better; you'll get stronger and better at coping; you'll go back to work - tentatively at first perhaps - but then as the kids get older you'll progress; you'll feel proud for supporting your kids.

And before you know it you'll be on mumsnet reading a post about another single mum who is just starting off that needed to use a food bank. And you'll post her a post just like this one.

Good luck, you've got this.

Nothing to be ashamed of, you are looking after your littles as best you can.
I hope you are also able to get help with your MH.

I had free school meals as a child and I have turned out alright!
If anything I am empathetic and kind as I've seen life been a struggle.
Kids watch you cope in tricky situations and they will learn how to be strong. If you are single parenting and coping with mental health issues at the same time then you are doing well. You have to feed the kids however you can so go to the food bank. Other people's opinions don't matter anyway but I can't see why anyone would think a single mum struggling with mental health and 2 young children shouldn't have some help with food.