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How to enjoy things more

9 replies

Desperatelyneedabreak · 27/04/2024 15:35

Those of you who have the children full time and enjoy it can you give me some tips on how to make it more enjoyable? I do love being with my children obviously but I am extremely exhausted, by the weekend I have no motivation or energy to do anything, like I don't want to go out, I just want to chill and rest, I'm generally exhausted meaning most weekends we stay indoors all weekend because I am exhausted and lacking energy or motivation. How can I stop feeling like this so I can enjoy the children more as right now I just don't enjoy it and feel like I am letting them down by being too tired to take them anyway. Lots of people tell me they are jealous of my situation which I do appreciate so those who are in my situation how do you enjoy it more when you are the one doing everything then never getting a break where do you find the energy and how can I make it more enjoyable?

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WTAFreally · 27/04/2024 16:15

I learnt to enjoy simple things at the weekends, like today we just came back from a walk (rained most of it). Try to build in a lot of things YOU enjoy into your weekends - each of us at home can choose activity they want and we do that (I have a choice too so I don’t miss out and I found that most of times I will have energy for things I love)

But I resonate a lot. It can be a lonely and exhausting place doing it all solo, and sometimes it really gets to me :( particularly now when kids are getting older 10/12

WTAFreally · 27/04/2024 16:18

Also, I make sure I get a day or two kids free a month. So I can recharge properly

LiterallyOnFire · 27/04/2024 16:34

Alternate cosy weekends with out and about weekends. Or for a long time I had a three week rota of cosy weekend, DIY/gardening weekends and museum
/cafe/cinema nights to weekends.

Reserve the right to vary that schedule in bad weather.

Films, home made snacks, blanket dens, crafts and generally chilling out on the cosy weekends. Summer version can be tent, paddling pool, making frozen yoghurt and picnics.

DIY weekends can be spring cleaning, building flat packs, wandering around B&Q, making mood boards. Let them get involved in things as soon as they're old enough. They can help with painting (emulsion anyway) and housework quite young. Also let them make some of the more minor decisions about by to plant in the garden, the colour scheme for their rooms and the bathroom etc. Over a whole childhood they will learn skills for adult life that way. And it's valid family time. You are all a family, taking care of your home together is self care and increasingly will be a group responsibility. Plus it's fun. Mine remember laughing while stripping wallpaper and things like that and those memories come up as often as holidays and so on.

When you are out about, walk as much as possible to get exercise and tire them out so they sleep well and you can unwind at night.

Try and get some fresh air and exercise with them every week day, be that walking, collecting conkers, swimming lesson, taking the dog out or 20 minutes in the room after dinner.

LiterallyOnFire · 27/04/2024 16:35

Brain fart. 20 minutes in the PARK after dinner.

But definitely build in your choices alongside theirs.

Desperatelyneedabreak · 27/04/2024 16:44

WTAFreally · 27/04/2024 16:18

Also, I make sure I get a day or two kids free a month. So I can recharge properly

I don't have any family and their father doesn't have them so unfortunately not possible even going to the park is exhausting as takes an hour to get everyone ready and out the door 😩 they are also getting older and say parks are boring now/ for babies

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LiterallyOnFire · 27/04/2024 16:49

How old and how many?

It is a different ball game when they are with you every single day of the year. Lots of people can't even imagine it. Look at some of the posts you see on MN with mums panicking about their OHs being away for a week. You already achieving something by getting through every week with every one fed and shod.

What's that saying? Everyone fed, nobody dead? Something like that. You're winning just by staying afloat.

It's tough, I know.

Babymamamama · 27/04/2024 16:50

It’s really hard OP I can sympathise.

I try to take mini recharge times during my working day. Eg nice chilled lunch with a colleague, solo coffee between appointments. As the time when DC is home is never all that relaxing. However rest assured as they get older it gets easier as they amuse themselves more and wouldn’t want to go anywhere with you anyway if they are anything like my teen.

WTAFreally · 27/04/2024 17:07

@Desperatelyneedabreak how old are your kids? I built a support network outside of the family over the last 4/5 years and that has been invaluable for me.. (we are a widowed family)

My kids can moan a lot too - so just trying as much as possible to spice it up each weekend, scooters/bikes out, treasure hunts, secret tasty snack in a rucksack, cheeky walk to a shop for a treat etc.

Desperatelyneedabreak · 28/04/2024 01:45

Thanks for the suggestions I will take them on board, they are older but the oldest 2 have Sen so not finding it getting easier yet as both don't hang out with friends or go anywhere without me they are 13, 12, 10 and 6

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