I want to live with....

[Justseenithink]

My teenage daughter has just started to throw ' I want to live with my grandparents' at me whenever I pull her up for her behaviour.

They live in Wales (we're in England) and she hasn't seen them in two years. Having said that they dote on her and give her anything she asks - partly to make up for not seeing her often and their son not being in the picture.

But I just don't know how to handle it. And often don't deal with it well. They refuse to speak to me so I stay out of their relationship and while I don't bad mouth them they have treated me very badly.

I know it's normal teenage stuff, but there's an edge because I'm a lone parent. Anyone got any advice?

Tell her to call them up and ask them if she can come and live with them full time. I doubt she will get the answer she wants.

They would probably say yes Eggplant. Or if not then use it to 'police' my parenting. So that's the worst thing I can do I think.

I reckon she's cottoned on that it's a bit of a trigger and gets a rise out of you so that's probably encouraged her to say it more... which is not very nice, but that's teenagers. You need to grey rock it or make light of it. She doesn't actually want to move in with her grandparents she's just enjoying your response. Practice not showing you care.

Does she speak Welsh ? Would it be a Welsh speaking school ?

Does she not have any friends ? Does she make friends easily.

Would she cope with moving to a new school, what year is she in, has she chosen her GCSE options or has she actually started them. Would the new school offer the same options.

She needs to think of all that and research it before she opens her mouth again saying she wants to move and live with them.

school is a major part of her week.

I agree with above poster, don't give her the satisfaction of a reaction. Call her bluff, she doesn't get to manipulate you emotionally, teen or not.

I doubt her grandparents would seriously entertain taking her full time given they haven't bothered to see her for 2 years.

Teens can spout a lot of BS when emotions are running high, just shrug and redirect the conversation or disengage if she keeps doing it.

If they are so crazy about her why is it years since they saw her?

Health reasons @Eggplant44 . The travel is difficult for them. They would love the idea of having her there even if the reality was very different.

Grey rock is a good shout. Had to do a lot of that with her Dad and it was the only thing that made a difference.