Soon to be single parent - tips

[Sjay123]

Hi all.

Myself and partner of 13 years have very recently seperated, his choice, and he will be moving out soon.

Our DD is 6 and is autistic, some days can be very hard mentally, she is doing well at her specialist school & really is an absolute joy but can be very demanding & intense. I'm worried how I will cope, I'm a good hands on mum and always with my girl, but I'm used to being able to 'pop out' to the shop if dad's home, or maybe go see a relative for couple of hours. Both of which are extremely hard to do with her. So I'm worried about my sanity.

I'm also scared about night times, I've never lived alone and although I think I'd probably be more useful if someone were to break in than ex would have been! It's not having another adult at night times.

How do you manage these things, any words of wisdom much appreciated x

I think you get use to it, I have 4 and 2 are autistic been a lone parent for years now so don't remember any different, I can't pop out anywhere without them but I use Uber eats etc if I need something from the shop, it's been a life saver really and I use it way more often that I probably should 😂 I think you just get use to it eventually as for breaking in maybe a ring door bell for peace of mind

Hi! Single mum for the past 3 years to an autistic 12 year old, and a 9 yr old.

I've got used to not being able to 'pop out' when I feel like it. I invite friends over for dinner/drinks so I still get to socialise.

How often will your ex have your DD? My ex has our DCs one weekend in every 3, and half of school holidays so I get more of a break now than I did when we were together and I did all the childcare on my own!

I also can feel vulnerable at nights, so I have cameras with motion sensors/lights over the front and back of the house. You don't need to go for the expensive name brands.. The Virtavo camera I have in the back garden (from Amazon) was something like £40. It's a chargeable battery one so I could put it up myself, and once every 2-3 months I need to recharge it 🤷🏻‍♀️. I bought a load of solar sensor lights too for the back garden. Obviously invest in decent locks for doors, etc.

Thanks both, we're still working on that. Being on min wage he's said for him to afford his own place, unless it's a house share that wouldn't be suitable for DD, he will have to increase his work hours quite substantially meaning less time to see her. At the minute it will be Friday nights he has her but at our house to keep some routine.

We've not told her yet so I'm dreading that, she's super emotional and very close to dad. I have got some books to help and her school are brill and will offer any emotional support needed.

I've mentioned school holidays to him, he hasn't verbally agreed to much yet I'm really hoping steps up got our girl.

Definitely going to get a ring door bell, and have to put my big girl knickers on x

It's amazing what you can do when you have to. I also used to get scared at night in house alone, but once DH left I had no choice and just had to deal with it - and it's been fine. Not being able to pop out to shop in evening - you will get into a routine of shopping which means you have all you need in. If you're little one goes to school and you work from home lunchtimes can be good for this!

Maybe we could do a day at the weekend too, rather than just Friday nights?

make sure you bolt the front / back door at night from the inside - just a simple bolt that is easy to move back and forth (not key operated, just a bolt). I got into a habit of this every night as a LP. Makes me feel more secure.