Am I wrong to be annoyed

[C36M]

Sorry if this seems like a rant, but I feel like I need to vent.

My four year old’s dad used to drink alcohol a lot, but had given up drinking for a long time. 

He has our daughter every other weekend overnight.

Last Friday he was due to collect our daughter at 5pm, he messaged me in the morning telling me all about the plans he had for her over the Easter weekend, and said see you at 5.

5pm comes and goes, 6pm, 7pm….at 8pm I put our daughter to bed as my ex hadn’t arrived. Our daughter was upset and asked if daddy doesn’t like her anymore (she’d been excited to see him all day). 

I messaged my ex but it didn’t deliver as his phone was off. I messaged him again at 8am, and 10am the following morning, but the messages didn’t deliver. At this point I was worried, as it’s not like him to let our daughter down and not even send a text message. 

He has had a heart attack previously, so I called the hospital and they said he hadn’t been brought in. I called 101 to see if the police had heard anything, and they suggested I send an ambulance to his property. So I did that, they visited his address and contacted me at 4pm on Saturday, but couldn’t tell me what happened because of confidentiality. At this point I was worried he was dead, especially as his phone was still off after the ambulance had visited. 

In the end he didn’t turn his phone on until Monday morning and messaged today (Tuesday) to apologise. He said that he had gone out drinking on the Thursday night, went too far, and was still drunk Friday morning when he messaged me, and had just stayed in bed all day and night. 

He’s very apologetic, but I feel so angry that he upset our daughter, and that he ruined our Easter weekend by causing so much worry. I also feel awful for calling an ambulance for someone who was just hungover. 

He lives alone with two teenagers, he could have asked them to text me from his phone, jus to let me know he couldn’t make it. 

Am I unreasonable to feel this way. Is it just one of those things? I’m really hoping this doesn’t set him back, and that he doesn’t start drinking too much again.

[Cuckoochanel80]

Yanbu that's horrible for the child as they can't understand at that age.

[Babyroobs]

I'd be furious at this useless waste of space and wasting an ambulance crew's time when other seriously ill people wait hours for an ambulance.
Hopefully this is a one off but I'd want to be very sure he's not drinking when he has your dd before allowing her to stay with him again. He needs to prove he can be trusted. Your poor dd.

[Dotcomma]

I've been in a similar situation so I know how you feel and no you are not at all being unreasonable.

How old is he? He's got 2 teenagers living with him - are they his children - where is their mum? Do you have a relationship with the teenagers at all? I'm only asking so that I can understand his circumstances and other commitments. You obviously care very much about doing the right thing for DD as you're happy with the usual arrangement of every other weekend & times have been agreed between you so everybody knows where they stand. Has this worked OK previously upto this 'going awol' weekend?