Really need a jolly good rant at the unfairness of it all.

[HeirOfSlytherin]

I really need a rant. There is absolutely nothing anyone can say to help. But I really need to get it out.My children's father is an absolute waste of life. I didn't know until it was far too late. He managed to keep it all in until his secrets were exposed. Then when the facade fell he couldn't hack it so he left. Ran away from all responsibility. By then I had a toddler and was pregnant.So I've raised them totally alone. He didn't want to know. Didn't want to pay. Eventually CMS got an attachment of earnings. It wasn't a lot, but given the high cost of raising a child who has additional needs (which one of mine does) it helps. After a few years I felt bad so I asked them to do it as a direct pay as I knew he was paying 20% on top. I also knew he wouldn't understand that he could ask to come off it. So for the last 4 years it has been direct pay and he has mostly kept to it. Until today. Today the payment wasn't in, so I messaged him and asked. Turns out he has decided to quit his job and be a "stay at home dad" (to the kid he had with his new gf) because he can. So therefore he isn't paying anything.I'm now £300 overdrawn and having to explain to my children that going forward we will have to look at cutting costs further (already on a tight budget despite having a "good" job). I don't know what to cut first. I don't have much personal expenditure, so ultimately the children will suffer as it will be their things that go. How do I even choose that?I've also applied to a charity today to see if I can get any additional help as I don't know how to get through the month. We already live hand to mouth. Being a totally lone parent, particualry to a child with a disability, fucking sucks. It really does. I didn't create these children to do it all alone. 🥺

[PolarPandaBear]

Its not just you, my ex has never paid maintenance ever, he has been on benefits since we split i have had to learn to live without it. Hopefully it’s temporary for you?

[shivermetimbers77]

Yep, solidarity here too OP. My ex pays absolutely zilch and it’s all on me too. You’re not alone! It’s so hard sometimes isn’t it?

[YourSnugHazelTraybake]

I know you say you're in a good job op but have you checked to see if you're entitled to universal credit? If one of your children has a disability there are extra allowances on it, including caters premium for you being a carer if they receive dla.

[HeirOfSlytherin]

Unfortunately (!) I already recieve UC as although I have a good job, I can't work full time. Plus I have childcare costs. My son also gets DLA but the costs of raising him are far higher than what is recieved.

I just can't believe they are allowed to just abandon all responsibility both physically and financially. Feckless fuckwits.

[HeirOfSlytherin]

I hope it is temporary too. I just have a feeling that it won't be. He has never had anything other than minimum wage jobs. So I'm not sure he has much incentive to work anymore.