Give me some ideas...

[Lavender2024]

I am newly single due to my husband having an affair. He has our son this weekend and for the first time in four years I have nothing to do and so much time for myself, but I have no idea what to do. I'm struggling emotionally and financially. All friends and family are busy so hit me with some ideas for what I can do. I struggle to relax as I haven't in so long, life was previously so busy for me due to doing nearly everything on my own. I'm currently trying to watch tv and have a lazy morning in bed but it feels wrong!

Enjoy your lay in! What did you like to do before kids? Reading? Baking? People watching with a coffee? This is YOUR time right now. Maybe just sitting in peace and quiet is enough. It's a lovely day where I am (East of England), so if it's nice where you are, get some morning sun and go for a walk, listen to a podcast or music you loved and danced to before kids. Time to reclaim the you time! Enjoy and don't feel guilty!

Go for a walk somewhere pretty. Beach, forest, hills. Coffee in a cafe if budget allows. Thermos of coffee in the garden or the park if not.

Do you have to do anything? My kids don't see their father in fact he has never once had them overnight, if I was ever lucky enough to have that happen I would just use it as a chance to rest!

My early days post split were boxsets, bath, painting my nails, pottering about, podcasts etc

Much the same as my current cost of living days :)

Every time I try to relax I have a panic attack. All I have known for four years is a never ending list of jobs and being worn out. Now that I have that time, it's like I need to learn how to use it. It's so strange. I used to think wow I'd love a day to just veg out and watch Netflix, now I have it Im feeling wrong for doing it.

It's tough at first but it gets easier. The first time the kids were away with my ex felt awful. I cried and moped and felt bereft. What helped was texting other mums who had been in the same situation, coffee in a bookshop , easy TV under a blanket, exercise and reading.
Sending you a hug because I know it feels so awful , the quiet , the adjustment, the anger , the worry .But I promise you it does get better and I never thought I'd be saying this but i now look forward to my fre e time.

People who don't know what it's like always say oh I'd love a break, just sleep or something - what's wrong with you!?

Yes it's lovely to have a break. But it's quite short sighted to not realise it comes with emotions to deal with, especially for someone who's newly single.

Ideas wise, a run, walk, reading, batch cooking, gardening, meet a friend, rest, watch a film, food shopping, whatever you fancy doing it's your time :-) I find doing something active helps keep my mood up.