Newly single mum

[LondonerWith2]

I've been with my partner 19 years, for context I'm only 27
We have 2 beautiful girls together

I know he isn't good for me, I know he drained me. But I miss him so much

Any advice? Someone to talk to?

Sorry, you’ve been with your partner since you were 8??

Ha no I meant 9 years

Have things to hand that you can use to fill the gaps. Books, crosswords, films, whatever, to fill the time when your dcs are in bed.

A new hobby, something to keep your hands busy? Or a new project?

My ex insisted all the walls of our home were white. It was like living in a fridge. So when ds and I moved to our flat, I collected every paint card, and then I painted stylish colourful rooms.

And I planned all the things I could do now, that he hadn't liked. Eating fish, and salads. Going skiing. Leaving the washing up until the next morning. Walking in the rain, bundled up on blustery days. Taking ds to jump in puddles. Having kitchen discos. 🙂

Fill your head with the good things that can happen, now your relationship is over. Eventually you won't need to try. xx

I'm in a very similar position op.

Keep reminding yourself of all the positives. For me it's the lack of vape smell around the house, and lack of his grim pillows

How old are your girls? Plan in some fun things with them to make more happy times.

Do you have support?

I completely understand how you're missing him - my counsellor explained that it's grieving and a process to go through.

Hello, another newly-single mum here. How are you doing? We had been together for 20 years so longer than you, but happy to gee each other up x

It will take time but you will all develop into your own new unit. You can still miss people even if they cause you pain.

Through time you could arrange to meet up and do some days together but making sure it's 100% for the kids and if he changes that you drop the bars on him.

Your independence through time will come and you will be happier for it.

Chin up you got this