Lone vs single parents

[TotallyFloored]

Does anyone think that Mumsnet should have two separate categories for this ?

Before anyone starts, I have no issue at all with single parents (ie those who are separated but still have involvement from the other parent). But I do feel that that situation is different from those parents who are raising children entirely single handed (not better or worse, just different). I'm not interested in only hearing from people in my exact situation.

I just know I have experiences and issues that sometimes I would like to discuss with other lone parents (although I'm always happy to hear other people's perspectives). When scrolling through the threads though, I often find ones that look like something that might be relevant to me, but aren't really when you actually read them. And I'm sure it works the other way too - for example, arguments over difficult co-parents aren't really anything I have experience of.

I think it would just be easier for people to find what they were actually looking for in separate categories.

I know this is an old thread but to add my bit... To me, if you are a lone parent in the 'pure' sense of the term, you have used a donor to have the child and there is no-one else involved in any way - as another care provider, financially, emotionally etc. I am not sure of the best word for it but I think there is a big difference between a situation where there are two parents and where there is one. However much the second parent does/doesn't have to do with the child/ren, they exist (again, for better or worse) and it's part of the story of how the child came into the world.

I am not making any judgements about which scenario is more difficult - I get that being in a combative situation post-divorce or relationship breakdown must be miserable. In fact I get quite frustrated with the apparent competitiveness between parents around who has a worse time?! But I am a lone parent via IVF and the conversations about her origins which I have when my DD is old enough will be different to those a single parent might have (whether they're a single parent due to divorce/relationship ending, bereavement...).

I’d say I am a lone parent. I used to be married but my ex left and never looked back and never contacts the kids. I don’t have extended family or anyone else to support me. So I am having to cope alone with various parenting issues with nobody to even discuss things with.

My kids are grown adults now but there are still issues which I have to deal with alone. All funding issues are down to me also.

You probably think “ah, they are adults now” but situations still occur and I am navigating them utterly alone. My youngest is at uni, funding falls entirely onto me - the other parent having long ago washed his hands of it. If there are any problems there is no other adult to bounce ideas off or be the voice of reason. Being a parent never ends - unless of course you choose to walk away completely Scot free. Sometimes this feels very unfair.

I’m am doing both: Eldest two see their dad once a week and he pays maintenance; The dad of my youngest doesn’t see him and currently pays no maintenance (I doubt he ever will).

It is so much harder as a lone parent.

Add the this that I had sporadic support from my DM with the first two but sadly she’d too old to help now.