Where to begin......

[ELF44]

I've only just signed up, no idea what I'm doing.
My husband has announced we are to separate but we are both stuck in house. He pays mortgage and utilities so obviously wants to sell the house asap. I don't work due to health reasons. I have filled a housing form in for my local council but obs I'm technically not homeless so I'm still waiting on them to contact me. We have a 12 year old with ADHD and other issues and a reactive dog.
Just a bit lost, any ideas or support welcome.

💐….. sorry OP sounds grim…

your son is a joint responsibility… don’t let him just leave it to you…. Will he respond to reason? Give you a few months to get over the shock and get things sorted.

the house belongs to you both if you are married.

remeber he has left the marriage and is looking out for himself and so now you have to as well… you are probably used to thinking about doing things with the whole family in mind and being accommodating Of his needs…… stop . Think of yourself and you son.

it is so hard. But it gets better.

Thanks

I don't think either of us know what to do but thankfully he has made a bed up downstairs.

ATM it's amicable but I know his default setting is put up his walls and be nasty to hide how he feels but as you say I have to remember this was his choice.

I've put my name on the housing list but doubt I'll get anywhere.. no idea how we'll cope in the house together of it's till the work is finished and it's on the market 😞

Hi, just a hand hold from me. I have a 7 yr old with ADHD and possible ASD. We lived with my ex for years (unwillingly on my part) and I survived!!! I don't recommend it, but it's amazing what you're capable of to look after little one.
I would break things down, probably starting with legal advice.
You can ask them about where your rights stand with regards to the property. If this is something that can be covered successfully with divorce then great and if not then that it would be it's own category. (I'm assuming you want to divorce. I did see that you don't pay towards the mortgage, but still speak to a solicitor about this).

Another element is what care would you like your for your child, in how much time he lives with you and how much time with father. The other consideration is what pattern would suit your son (ie which days where? Every other weekend with dad is common). And do you know what your son would like?
I'll try to find a link to a parenting plan template, which is really handy for some different things to think about. Even if you're not going to use a parenting plan yourself.

Depending on what happens about housing, decisions can then be made about the dog. You won't be able to know what is going to happen with every element, but they can be hurdles that you cross one or a few at a time.

I'd call Gingerbread who have a free helpline, it can be tricky getting through, but I dialed on repeat I think... Just say what you put in this post. That you don't know where to begin. Another key element if you don't work will be benefits and you can ask Gingerbread about universal credit and how to speak to a divorce solicitor, if that isn't clear to you. I'll post this now and then links in a minute.

Gingerbread information pages
https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/find-information/

Their helpline
https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/talk-to-us/

Parenting plan:
Cafcass
https://www.planningtogether.cafcass.gov.uk/plan

A pdf
https://www.rcsolicitors.co.uk/site-login/resources/cafcass-parenting-plan.pdf

This could be a very difficult transition for you. It was excruciating for me, but the best transition that has ever happened to me. (His attitude is fairly immaterial - I mean plan for the worst and hope for the best.)

Thank you so so much

I really appreciate it. I'll have a good look at these when have 5 mins thank u