Its long,rambling, may not make much sense, but I am soooo p%%ed off with him.
I split with my xp 3 1/2 years ago now, kicked him out when bills were not getting paid despite me working fulltime and receiving tax credits, but money disappearing )at least that was the straw that broke the camels back). I have, however, always been there if he needed help since, as he was ds's father and also, I guess, I felt guilty over kicking him out. His access, or lack of it, has been down to when he can feel bothered. He works in a shop and I appreciate the fact that he doesnt have a regular work pattern, is often on the later shaift (lunch-close) and works at least 5 days a week so cannot have a regular day/time to see ds, but the only 4 days of the year I can guarentee he wants to see ds is Xmas, Birthday, Easter and Fathers Day, the rest of the time is ad-hoc to say the least, and on his terms. I have not heard from him in 18 days, not even his usual 1 a week text to ask how ds is, and the last phonecall (which I made to him to try and help him AGAIN) was answered by his new gf who held a button down and then cut me off - I have since heard from a mutual aquaintance that she is bragging about this!!!! After speaking to said mutual aqauaintance (ma) I received a text from xp saying he was sorry about last week and how was ds - I replied that 18 days was a funny week and left it at that. His response was his normal ... I didnt realise it had been that long but I have had to do x y and z (his conversations are always about the problems he is having in life). That was yesterday (and ma has admitted she had a go at him on my behalf). Today he tried calling me, I cancelled the call. He then texted asking what we were doing tomorrow and what did I want doing with the egg he has got ds, I replied that ds was spending the day with his uncle and ignored the egg bit (cos my reply woulnt be polite in the least). I havent heard from him since. On top of this, I spent time in A&E yesterday cos ds (he's 6 btw) got into the medicine cupboard and helped himself to Calpol , cue big stick to beat myself with. Ds is fine, and they didnt even take bloods, it appears that he wont have taken much more than his maximum daily dose, but there is now an extremely big lock on said cupboard!!! I havent told xp about the Calpol, he would only beat me with a bigger stick and as he is a whizz at mind games I dont wanna give him the ammo. Equally I dont want to talk to him, cos I know if I do he will talk me into feeling sorry for him. I am fed up with contact as and when he likes it, but he will not commit to any sort of agreement.
HOWEVER... ds idolises his dad and loves sending time with him (despite the fact that he doesnt do much with him, other than let him eat loads of biscuits... then again that probably IS the reason... ). So I shouldnt really be ignoring xp, knowing that he will be trying to set up a contact for ds, should I? (Oh, and he cancelled the last contact as well) I know IABU, but Im so narked off with him, contact drops to virtually nil whenever he has a gf, not that is is much better when he hasnt, and yet ds still thinks he's the bees knees.
I know its a ramble, i know IABU, I just need to let off steam. Thanks for reading, any advice would be gratefully received, tho I know what i need to do is swallow my anger and sort contact, I just want him to be on the recieving end for once.