I've two children, both boys. One is in his mid teens, the other is 7 y/o and is waiting to be assessed for ADHD. I'm a single mum and my boys don't see their dad currently (haven't for four years, due to drug use). I have no contact with my parents because of the unhealthy control they try to have over my life, along with the constant negativity. My youngest son goes to see them once a month, along with my eldest son.
My youngest is out at a sleepover tonight for his friends birthday. My eldest is out with friends. I've got a rare night off and I'm sat here feeling absolutely exhausted! I work full time Monday-Friday in a college, so even my holidays are spent with the kids entertaining them, cleaning up after them, the usual. None of my friends are free because they have their own partners and families. I'm sat home alone in my pyjamas.
There's 8 years between my boys, I was 20 when I had my first son. He didn't sleep well but turned into a placid, calm boy. My youngest is a different kettle of fish. Constantly excitable, constantly needs attention, constantly wanting me to soothe him, always wants to be the loudest thing in the house, always wants to be in charge, can never follow instructions without being asked 50 times or asking 'but why', literally nothing is ever simple. His attention span is like a fish. He's so loving but it's almost clingy. I understand he is a different child and presents his own needs that I do my best to meet, but I'm absolutely bloody exhausted!
I'm sat here wondering when is the end to this exhaustion in sight? I don't remember when it trailed off with my eldest, or ever feeling this overwhelmed I suppose. Odd because my job was much more challenging when he was small. Am I just older and this is a consequence? I really don't know. I do know though that I can't go the next 10 years feeling like this day to day. Please can someone remind me of when it gets easier.