Is anyone else struggling like this

[MumOfOneAllAlone]

Hello

I'm new to posting on Mumsnet, I guess I've just had such a shit day that I feel I need to let it out somewhere

I'm completely alone with my 4yo. I love her more than anything, that's not an issue, I'm just struggling to keep it together 🥺🥺

I'm exhausted, on the bariatric waiting list, on anti depressants but I'm struggling each day. Sleep is an issue - my daughter has ASD, but I also struggle with being unable to wake up due to my medication.

We fell out of our routine last week and so now we're struggling to get up and to school in the morning.

She's been late to school twice last week and then today. Today was my fault, I just couldn't get out of the house. The teacher had a word with me, saying she's late too much. The other mums were looking at me, and I know I look such a mess 🥺

No real point to my post, just wondering if anyone out there struggles like this

My daughter's gone down to sleep for a bit (I'm planning to pull an all nighter so we're awake for drop off)

Thanks for readin
g xxx

Please be kind to me, I know I'm a fat crappy mum 😔

Any chance of you having a sleep now? I think pulling an all nighter has the potential to backfire.
I sympathize. I’m finding mornings hard too. We were almost late today.
What’s your alarm clock system like? Your phone? Do you hit snooze a lot?
I find it helps me (same age kid and I do the morning school runs) to have everything ready the night before. So lunchbox/afterschool snack made and in the fridge, clothes I don’t put out but my kid’s clothes are all basically interchangeable and well organized (my own wardrobe is another story!), coat and shoes and backpack and scooter exactly where they should be ready waiting.
I have an alarm that goes off at 7, then another at 7:30. So I can either go back to sleep for half an hour or get up and make myself a coffee/mess around on mumsnet. At 7:30 I wake up my kid and shove a (nonspill cup of milk at him). Slice of toast once he’s awake and downstairs. Then clothes, teeth in the kitchen, shoes coat and out the door. It’s still like pulling teeth some mornings and I do the absolute minimum for myself. There’s no playing or tv or anything. Just up and go. Clean clothes and teeth and sometimes breakfast.

Yes but I have 4 children and one is also autistic and they don’t see their father so no “days off”. We are often late to school also and they have been on at me badly calling me at 8.15 to make sure we’ve left and threatening to come to my house if we haven’t left. So definitely not just you.

You have my sympathy.

Get a face mask on now while you are sorting DC or whatever so you feel a bit better and paint your nails to feel more out together. Screw it get them done if you can can have the. Super short it doesn't matter

Get yourself some tinted moisturiser so no need for foundation for the school run so you can stop panicking about looking a mess

Get eye lashes and eyebrows tinted if you usually wear mascara or eyebrow pencil so that literally your face sort d every morning

Do your hair now for the morning , straighten it curl it or whatever or get practicing the messy bun look if your hairs not too short

Get your outfit out for tomorrow ready. Get dc clothes out too and bag packed and water bottle filled tonight and your bag ready for tomorrow

Perfume. Spray perfume always makes you feel better

Set several alarms - set music to start something upbeat to get you up and moving

Maybe a kettle next to your bed so you can make a coffee/tea in the no ring from bed. Some people say lazy some people say genius

Sleep whenever you can

Can you take your tablets for sleeping a bit relief do may be less groggy in the morning

Hate to say it but an energy drink especially on a Monday morning

Set your clocks in the house and car 10 minutes fast and go by them not your mobile phone time

Breakfast have on the go, cereal bars, croissant or pan au chocolate. Yes the nutrition isn't great but just while you get yourself into a better routine

Try not to stress. You've been late. You didn't mean to and you obviously care all you can do is your best

You’re not a crappy mum at all. Some days are hard and even if you’re super organised a small person with a mind of their own can soon cause a delay!

My best advice is the same as above, get everything ready the night before! I lay clothes out for my DS and pack his school bag and fill his water bottle to night before. Clothes ready for me most mornings. The bonus of cold weather is you can shove a woolly hat over your hair so not a priority! Cup with teabag in next to the kettle ready to boil. Breakfast is toast as it’s quick and simple and can come with us on the school run if needed.

I also set alarms for 7, 7:15 and 7:30. Each with some cheerful morning music to start the day off.

I wouldn’t recommend an all-nighter! An early night might be a better bet but if you’re anything like me I suspect that won’t happen. Maybe a nice relaxing bath and a book might help you switch off a bit and get some rest.

All you can do is your best and it sounds like that’s what you’re doing

Good morning to those that replied - thank you so much

We slept on the sofa, and went down at about 3am. Woke at 7 and made it to drop off on time. I feel so embarrassed about how things have turned out for me in my life, honestly, but just need to keep going, hopefully it'll pay off some day

❤️

Thank you, I do feel like I'm really trying 😞. Agree with the cheerful music, ze have radio one on, love that Greg James xx

Thank you ❤️ - I might try taking my sleeping pills earlier, that's a good idea.

I'm gonna try and make up a little self care bag that I can use in the mornings

Agree with breakfast to go as well, makes it so much easier

Thank you for replying - you have my sympathy, here I am complaining when I've just got the one! Same here, it's just me and her, always has been, so I've never had a day off 😔.

The teacher had a word with me and I know others were listening yesterday. Still, I showed up today and was polite and cheery - I don't want her to think she got to me 😞

Keep going girl, that's all I can say. Your four will look back and truly love you for never quitting on them. Xx

I need to get myself a better alarm clock, I think, I literally sleep through mine 😔 - one of those extra loud ones, I think that'll help

Most things are ready the night before, just need to make sure absolutely everything is. I got her in today, she's gone in with 4 hours sleep, poor thing, but she's in, I guess

Thank you xx

A friend of mine had an exploding alarm clock when we were at teenagers. It broke into 4 pieces when it went out and they’d fly off a couple of feet. You had to put the clock back together to turn off the alarm - so you had to get out of bed.
You can also get alarms clocks that gradually increase the level of light which mimics sunrise. Some people find those very helpful too.

I'll have a look, thank you X

How have things gone OP?

Thank you so much for checking back in 🙂❤️

They've gone ok - we managed to get up in time on Tuesday - I took us downstairs and only allowed myself to doze on the sofa, rather than being in bed. We only had very little sleep, but it worked.

Then weds to Fri, it has been something similar to our prev routine. I took on a couple of your suggestions: energy drink, setting clock faster and taking my meds earlier

Taking my quetiapene earlier has helped imo - although I'm super tired when I go to bed, it's better then than in the morning! Today and yesterday I feel more settled as I got up at 5, so hopefully things can continue this way 🥺

Gonna relax with and catch up on love island tonight, hoping my daughter will go down soon. I do feel better overall, I'm so grateful for you mums for lifting me up. I hope you have a nice relaxing weekend planned? Xx

@handfulofsugar this is great advice! I’m going to use it too…not for being late (although I am -a lot!) but you make myself more put together. Guess a glow up! I look a mess, parenting solely on my own and two jobs.

@Onionsmadeofglass the breaking clock sounds like my worst nightmare!! Haha

OP you struck me as being too hard on yourself. Sure you are a wonderful Mum. In December I got a letter from the head teacher about the lateness, but you know what, it was a horrendous month and I was did the best I could. Children didn’t go without and are still doing well emotionally and academically. All I’m saying is many of us have been there and don’t be too hard on yourself. I think if you can sort your sleep routine it would benefit you, start by setting a time to go to bed and stick to it.

What’s the medication that’s making you sleepy? Is it the sleeping pill or the anti-depressant?

If it’s the sleeping pill, what kind are you taking? On nights I need one I’ll only take half of one and I’ll take it at 7pm so I’m asleep by 8pm but it’s worn off by the time I need to be up with the kids.

Honestly don’t even worry about being late. Shit happens. It’ll get better!