So lonely

[Resignationhelp]

I have a 16 month old and work full time . Dad sees him a few hours a week and isn’t too interested as he has other kids he puts first

I am so lonely . I live in a flat on my own . My parents help me but I am struggling . My son doesn’t sleep and is up every hour some nights. I don’t have any friends as they have moved away and I have no friends at work .

I want to date but have no confidence and wonder if my lack of a social life will put someone off.

I feel trapped, I want to meet new people but I don’t know where to start. I used to have friends at work but the people at work are younger men who I get on okay but we aren’t close . I crave a close female friend.

Does anyone have any advice , I feel so depressed . My son will pick up on this if im
not careful .

Poor you, that sounds tough.

What do you do at weekends? A regular class, or trip to the park might get you meeting people. It takes time to form friendships but be open and friendly and it'll happen.

There used to be bumble app for finding friends, and gingerbread single parents charity used to help I think? Look then up.

I get there's another single mother near you wishing to find a friend just like you, it's just a case of finding each other.

That sounds tough

When your child starts sleeping better, everything will feel more manageable. Perhaps health visitor could offer advice about bedtime routine?

I know how you feel

You are doing a great job caring and providing for your son — I think someone needs to tell you that, first off. It’s so relentless and there’s so little time for anything else when you have small child, I don’t think we are proud of ourselves enough. Also, my daughter is around the same age as your son and also wakes up a lot. I don’t think it’s anything we do or can change, honestly I think it depends on the individual child and they will grow out of it. But it’s so hard when you’re juggling work and parenting on little sleep.

Ideas wise… Could you start going to a regular class, just for you, perhaps when your son is with his dad? If your town/community has a Facebook page/group this can be a really good place to look for activities. I’ve also found that people sometimes post there looking for other mums for play dates etc. So could be an idea.

Don’t know if this is possible for your circumstances, but could you reduce your hours at work at all? Or put in a flexible working request? It might be that getting an extra few hours or day a week might help you carve some time either for yourself, or to be able to take your son to activities where you can meet other parents.

I hope these suggestions help (realise your original post was a while back now). Let me know how you get on — always happy to DM :). xx