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Original poster

AIBU or a little harsh in thinking ?

5 replies

bumblebubble23 · 26/01/2024 13:40

An acquaintance of mine, let's just say her names J aged 39. Has a child aged 7. Still lives with her mum no intentions of ever moving out, whether it's renting or buying. Child was conceived through one night stand so no involvement of father. Works very little part time hours low paid job, topped up with benefits etc. A family member buys her food shop every Sunday and has done for years. So to clarify she has permanent built in childcare,no bills etc but complains to the end of the Earth about how hard single mum life is, which I'm not contesting, however she does this regularly and a good friend of mine who actually is a single mum living alone is having a very difficult time at the moment. So when J began her usually my life's so hard routine, I did mention well other friend is in much more difficult position at the moment 3 children no help from ex and is struggling with childcare etc J says well yeh, but this is even harder for me because I'm a single mum and when DS7 Is 16 I'll have to work full time again because money stops and I can never move out because I'm a single mum etc but am I being completely awful or hard into just thinking you've got it easy? Live with parents no n bills could save up if wanted to? I know people are in difficult times with money at the moment but this has gone on for years.

OP posts:
GivingitToGod · 19/10/2024 12:35

Hi, unsure why your friend isn't working FT if she is living with her parents????
All relative, I raised my son alone and always worked FT ( and more) to keep the boat afloat. And I had no family support and wasn't in a high paying job at that time. I also know people who are working FT (partnered/single) who are working FT and really struggling with financial responsibilities,
So I could ask why you have to wait until your child is 16 before you resume FT work? This isn't a criticism, more a similar question to ypur original one

GivingitToGod · 19/10/2024 12:38

GivingitToGod · 19/10/2024 12:35

Hi, unsure why your friend isn't working FT if she is living with her parents????
All relative, I raised my son alone and always worked FT ( and more) to keep the boat afloat. And I had no family support and wasn't in a high paying job at that time. I also know people who are working FT (partnered/single) who are working FT and really struggling with financial responsibilities,
So I could ask why you have to wait until your child is 16 before you resume FT work? This isn't a criticism, more a similar question to ypur original one

My apologies, it is your friend who says she will have to work FT when her son gets to 16. Why isn't she working FT now? And so many FT working people are struggling financially. All very unfair IMO

Original poster
bumblebubble23 · 19/10/2024 16:39

It's the person who the main post is about who lives with parents.

OP posts:
Hatty65 · 19/10/2024 16:42

Just avoid her if she's an acquaintance you don't like much, which you don't seem to.

I don't know how hard her life is, but having a low paid job and benefits and living with your Mum as a single parent at 39 sounds utterly shit to me. It's not a life that most people would envy, is it?

Original poster
bumblebubble23 · 19/10/2024 21:33

Well she's a little more than an acquaintance Shocktrying to keep anonymous, its more like she goes on like she needs a reward for how hard it is single mum life but am I wrong in thinking, your not completely on your own would be much harder if she lived alone? Bills/childcare/cleaning/washing etc she does none of this

OP posts:
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