Family court/child maintenance/abusive ex

[Mermaidtearss]

Hi all, this is my first post and I’m looking for a bit of advice. I left my ex whilst I was pregnant due to him domestically abusing me. My daughter is now 6, and for the last 7 years he’s controlled everything, including how much he wanted to pay in child maintenance. He’s only ever had our daughter on alternate weekends (his choice) and I had to put a stop to her going to his unsupervised, because he was putting her at risk, neglecting her and I had concerns about him abusing her too. He decided that he no longer wanted contact with her at all, not even phone calls. After that, I decided to apply for child maintenance through CMS, but he wasn’t working at the time so was only ordered to pay £30 a month. He missed his first payment, so I asked for CMS to use collect and pay, a week later he applied to the court for 50/50 child arrangements (3 months since his last contact with her) I’ve since found out that he did this not long after getting a new job and he’s going to have to pay me hundreds due to his earnings, arrears and because he doesn’t have her at all.

I understand that I have no proof that he’s only applying due to not wanting to pay, but has anyone experienced anything like this?

[2Hot2Handle]

This sounds like an awful situation. I don’t have experience with this, but my advice would be to keep a record of everything that you can with specific dates and facts. That includes each action he has taken to see his daughter, cancelling arrangements to see her, not having a job, having a job, applying for 50/50 custody etc. are you able to earn much money yourself? I know it’s easier said than done, but the more you can earn, the freer you will be from him, so try to think long term about ways you can aim to be financially okay, so that if he tried to control you, or your daughter through CMS, he won’t have that power anymore.

[Mermaidtearss]

Thanks for replying. To be honest, I earn a pretty good salary and my current partner does too, so we’re not hard up for money, it’s more the principle because the CMS payments would go straight into my daughters savings account. I guess I’m more concerned about the fact that he’s never had 50/50 but all of a sudden wants it, because he has to pay full maintenance, which he’s never done her whole life. I doubt he’ll get it because Cafcass have recommended that she lives with me due to the issues and concerns, but I just can’t believe the audacity