Doesn't want more weekend but wants full custody?

[oneanddonee]

We've got a schedule in place for our 4 year old son. Exh sees him every other weekend. I keep Wednesday evenings open for him for the weekend he doesn't have him but he rarely takes this opportunity up due to his work commitments.

He recently got married and his new wife is very hands on with our son and that's good to hear however he has recently proposed our son lives with him and goes to primary school in their town and grows up there (40 mins away) I don't believe this is suitable as he's only turned 4 less than a week ago and has only known a life living with me. (We left when he was 2)

I offered meeting in the middle (imho) by offering more weekend time as he wants to see his dad more too but hading over full physical care to his dad feels like a change too big for a child this young. Even if our son loves time at his dad's.

Could I take this to mediation? Nursery have also told me our son would love more time with his dad and it's effecting his behaviour too. I'm not sure how to go about this. Please help.

Quite

Is he trying to look like the big man / father of the year to new wife? Obviously he’s going to spin it that you are “keeping him from his child” and “bleeding him dry financially”

What would be his plans for you to have contact? Would it be for him to have him in the week and you have him at weekends? Because if so that sounds like he thinks he'd get a good deal during the week with his new wife dealing with school runs and him getting to have an hour or so of fun time before bed, then you doing all the work on weekends when otherwise he would be around his son more without work and school.

Let me guess he offered this when you asked for more money, or his cms has gone up?

Make sure nursery know that you have offered dad more time and he refuses. And that he is trying to manipulate you for money and you suspect he is putting words into the kids mouth. They will have seen all this before and know how to handle your son.

This. Don't give your DS up completely. He's your baby.

What about living nearer him so your son can go to a local primary school and maybe move to 50:50 as he gets older?

OP please please make sure you do all negotiations with him through email so there is a written record of who said what when.

When you deem your son old enough, preferably an adult, if you feel like it you can then show him the emails.

Unless the OP moved away then the father can move.

So he doesn't want more weekend time, and he has work commitments that make weekday nights difficult. Sounds like the new wife would be doing most of the childcare if your son lived there.

Why are you considering mediation. Your son is 4. The correct answer is piss off.

Your son does not understand that more time with Daddy is less time with you. Time doesn't mean the same thing to a 4 year old.

You can get a monthly calendar and explain it to him really simply that each bow is a day time and a sleep.

Then ask him to show how many days he wants to see Daddy. And how many he wants to see mummy and you'll rapidly see that he doesn't understand what's being suggested.

He is just playing at Df Of The Year to impress his gf.
It will pass. Likely when she get pregnant...

Why is he acting like his only options are EOW or FT? Why can't he do 50/50?