Struggling to adjust to life as a newly single mum

[ssunflowers]

I don't know what I'm trying to gain from this, maybe a hand hold? :(

Me and 17mo DD's dad have recently separated. To be honest I'm absolutely gutted but it is what it is. Long story short, he wasn't happy. A little shock as we had just taken a break from trying for baby #2. Anyway, I've struggled with anxiety and panic in the past but wow has it come back with a vengeance.

The anxiety is particularly bad in the evenings. I dread my DD going to bed. It took 6 weeks from him leaving to be able to sit in the living room at night because it felt so lonely.

I've been having a lot of panic attacks, am back on sertraline and am waiting for mindsmatter to contact me, so I've taken some action but I just thought if anyone who's been through similar and has come out the other side could tell me it's going to be okay, I might believe it.

I would love to have more children, meet someone, just have a happy family life. But that's just so hard to picture whilst I feel so alone. Grieving the family I thought I was going to have so bad.

I know it’s not the same but I split with my partner of 6 years. Was anti kids but finally open to having them just before the split. We had a beautiful home and I had pictured a life. We sold the house and I brought my own but was so depressed. I couldn’t picture the life I wanted in that house. I was in love with the idea of him more than the reality of having him. Anyway fast forward some months and i got covid. i really missed him when i was ill as he was always fab when i was poorly. i sat on my living room floor and sobbed, it finally hit me he was gone. i promised my dogs they were the last tears id cry over him. something just flicked in my head. i was suddenly able to accept my new reality. youll find the reason but it might take time. all the love to you xxxxx