What is reasonable to ask of NRP?

[Sillysosij]

I have really struggled to find my daughter a dentist in our area, I haven’t found one for myself either and we moved here 4 years ago so I asked her dad to be responsible for her dental care as there was one near him taking on nhs kids. He has her EOW so 4 days a month. I arranged & booked her first appointment & paid the £25 surcharge for a Saturday appointment. I’ve reminded him about subsequent appointments, he has said he booked them, it turns out he hasn’t and she hasn’t been seen. 

I messaged him about this to ask when he had booked her next check up for. He then got angry and said the reason he pays maintenance is to cover these kinds of costs and that I need to find a dentist near us. 

Clearly I do because he hasn’t taken her, I’ve said I will sort it out, I’ve found one nearish to my brother’s so we can potentially do a dentist trip then stay with him. But was I being unreasonable to expect him to use limited time to do the dentist? And money when he does pay £300 maintenance?

[stargazer02]

He's begrudging £25 every 6 months?!

My ex plays incompetent like this, but has far more free time (and money) than I do.

It's important to get done so I'd just get on myself. Can you arrange appointments at the one near him during the week and just take her yourself? Or on a Saturday AM and drop her to him after?

[AmazingDayz]

Personally I wouldn’t ask my ex to do stuff like that but that’s because I know he wouldn’t and my children come first.

[Sillysosij]

I thought he had been taking her, turns out she was last seen in 2022. I feel really guilty that she wasn’t seen.

We live 3 hours apart so going in the week/morning would not be practical but I have arranged a callback at the one near my brothers to get registered so we can combine it with a visit to his at the same time. There’s no dentists within an hour and a half travel for us, 3 hours round trip for the dentist with no incentive sounds brutal for a small child! So at least a visit would give something to look forward to.

It’s more I wonder if I was being too demanding asking him to do it in the first place since he was angry at me for not doing it when he pays maintenance.

[Therollinghills]

Sounds like he thinks he pays maintenance so you can do all the grunt work associated with having a child tbh. What sort of dad can't take responsibility for one tiny area of their child's wellbeing..this is definitely not your fault, he knows he's fucked up and would rather blame you than admit it.