When your teenager doesn't want to go to the NRP

[redvelvet77]

So my son is 13 and no longer wants to go to his Dads. Says he doesn't feel comfortable there and just wants to be at home. His Dad is strict and he says he's scared of him. I know he has never hit him, he's just scared when he gets cross and shouts.

Sadly I don't have a great relationship to discuss anything with him as he won't listen and then will go straight to our son and talks to him, which our son hates. He says he can't talk to him and tell him how he feels. I've tried talking to my ex in the past and he's just childish and says well our son feels the same about me. This isn't the case at all. I'm not wanting to score points but it's obvious he is.

Holidays are normally worse as he spends 50% of his time at his dads. He's going tomorrow and says he doesn't want to go. Normally it's a 70/30 split, 70% with me.

I'm at a loss of what to do? He says he doesn't know how to talk to him.

Separated 8.5 years and live 5 mins away. CAO in place.

I wouldn’t make him go. If his dad takes you back to court then court is unlikely to make him go either. Over age 12 they take the kids wishes in to account

With a CAO in place it will probably have to go back to court and you need to advocate for your son if he can't. He will need to speak up in court though as he will be deemed old enough to make his own mind up. In the interim you need to be saying he doesn't want to go and if he takes you to court over it then so be it.

Thank you. The thought of court fills me with dread. I might compose an email to him saying that he no longer wants to go the one night in the week. And see what happens. I'm kinda scared of him too so understand how my son feels.

Is he supposed to be going for the night . At 13 he can decide . Assuming from last comment there is no court order .

I would also though be sure you aren’t just the easy option . Far less demands .

My ds doesn’t see his dad - he really missed a male involvement in his teen years

He goes regularly as we have a CAO.

In the holidays he goes for a lot more and I'm thinking he's just fed up and doesn't want to go back tomorrow.

He says he can he himself at home and doesn't feel comfortable at his Dads.

I agree I feel it's best he sees his dad regularly but I can't force him, he's the same height as me now. Not like I can carry him to the car.

I think maybe I need to compromise with him and see how that goes