what am I spending too much money on?

[beansmum]

After saying on a thread the other day that I wasn't struggling with money I tried to buy lunch out today and my card wasn't acceptedIt was only £12 too

After paying all my bills and rent I have about £395pm left over for me and ds. What do you think is the best way to split this up? Divide by 4 and take that amount out weekly? Split into money for different things eg food, clothes, etc? What should I just stop buying?

Any advice?

i cut new clothes, new books, going out to eat/drink, weird and wonderful standing orders. Look at your supermarket bill and see where you can economize: organic to normal, normal to value: see where they're adding extra costs and don't buy into the packaging/marketing. Make a list and stick to it. Think NEED not WANT. It's very, very different.

hi beansmum
have you tried writing down everything your spending - maybe just for a week ?
those magazines and choccy bars and that nice new top can all add up
just an idea

i'm panicking about money aswell
even though the father is a company director he reckons he can only afford £200 per month!! - w*er

I'm really good with food shopping, I plan meals and only buy what is on my list, got it down to £6 one week! but usually around £30-40. I never go out and hardly ever buy new clothes, I just can't work out where my money is going.

Writing everything down is a good idea, except I now have no money so wont have anything to write down. Luckily I had already paid all my bills this month and have a house full of food but I just can't think of anything I can cut out. Not my Broadband! It's going to have to be my contact lenses isn't it My glasses are v unattractive and about and inch thick. I will never leave the house.

lou222: £200 a month!
He probably spends more on his shirts...rustle his expenses, car allowance, bonus and inflated pension...

On the economy front I was really strapped when a student, and I got one of those little cash notebook things from WHSmith and wrote down everything I bought.
I also only existed in cash...I took the cash out, kept it in my purse and that is all I had each week.
First I would put aside money for bills and rent then buy the food and clothes were from charity shops, ditto books.
No credit card, no debit card (I did have them but chose not to use them).

Keep a fixed budget for food even if you have to go round the supermarket with a calculator adding up each item as you put it in (my aunt used to do this) then after you have bought the essentials you can use any spare cash to buy "treat" food or save it up for the future.
I got so into the habit of adding up the money and writing it all down and dividing the cash into little piles that I was still doing it years later!
Actually handling the cash in your hand and putting little piles of money against rent/food/bills etc makes it more real and easier to realise where the money is going.

hi, i'm not a lone parent but can empathise with you re the skint thing. after rent and bills we have about £350 left to put petrol in the car, get dh to work (train pass), feed, clothe etc etc 2 adults and 2 kids. it is hard.

meal planning really helps. we used to spend £90 ish a week on food, it is more like £60 now and that includes nappies. i write a list of exactly what we are eating for for the week, trying to utilise food we already have in the cupboards. it also means i'm not stressing about what i'm going to cook for dinner.

i buy 90% of the kids clothes from NCT nearly new sales, went to one today and picked up a bin bag of clothes for the summer for them, cost me £25 (including a few toys too)

i have a pay as you go mobile and top it up with a tenner once every other month, when the credit is gone it's gone.

we don't go out for meals, but my lovely dad takes us all out for a pub lunch every few months or so, and we have a take-away once a month max.

if we need household stuff we ask relatives to buy it for us for birthday/christmas presents (my dad bought dd a car seat for xmas!)

we go to visit other people at their houses/have people round to us rather than going to soft play places and the like.

have also been known to venture into lidl/aldi to but food when we are at the end of the month and struggling

hope some of this helps, sorry if it's not relevant to you. are there any things you can do without, like mobile phones, sky/cable, etc?

i know miggsie - he must think i'm stupid as before i got preggers he was always flashing the cash and going off on expensive holidays
he once said he was earning all this money and didnt know what to spend it on !

now he reckons after all his outgoings he has £160 per month spare but is going to cut back and let me have £200
it's not the money it's the fact he's a lying git that winds me up more!

I have just had a brilliant idea! (I think)

Would it be a good idea to open a basic account, no overdraft or credit card. Then I could set up a standing order to this account for all my variable expenses, food, clothes etc and leave money in the other account to pay all my bills. I could transfer a bit less than I can actually afford and then my other account could built up a bit of extra cash for occasions like this when I just run out completely. Is that a good plan?

beansmum i've done that today, I have normal account which wages go into then a savings (which i'm trying not to touch) however by setting up another chequing account i will tranfers all money for bills/nursery fees and then will have wages left over in other account to live off.

When my DD was born I wrote down every penny I spent to see where it went. I then made small changes in my spending habits that made all the difference.

I have recently opened a 'bills' account as I worked out that my monthly wage from p/t job just covers my outgoings. I have a £50 overdraft in case of a cock up but am not using it as 'my money'.

My other a/c has weekly CTC, WTC and ch ben coming in and this is what I live on - (food, clothes/shoes for DD etc comes out of this a/c too). It's handy having this income weekly rather than monthly as I withdraw anything I haven't spent that week and transfer it to a savings A/C at the building soc and don't have to worry about making it last the full month.

Hope some of this is reassuring. As long as you're careful and organised it's perfectly do-able!

How much are you paying for your broadband, tv, phone?

Where do you get your contact lenses from? There are some good online suppliers.

For birthdays we only ask for things we need - so dh got a booster seat from his parents seat that dd needed, I got a cheque to go towards a wardrobe.

Is there anyway of bringing money into the house? Or will that affect any benefits you are entitled to?

I work with 3 qccounts so that I know all the direct debits are paid from 1, have a savings account but CB goes in there and pays kids activities 3rd account is my current account and thats what I use day to day.

I keept a strict account off everything I paid out for a few months so I know hwat I spemnd on petrol . food etc.

The thing about having the money in your prse is it is there to spend. Perjhaps only drawing what you need might help.

I have a very strict budget. This is how i work it:

I list everything I recieve (wages, WTC & CTC, CB, maintenance etc), for the month.

I then list out all the 'have to pay' expenses for the year - water, electric, gas, council tax, car tax/insurance/MOT/service, child care costs, phone bill etc. Work these costs out over the year and then divide by 12 to get an average monthly amount (fuel bills are more in winter etc so come winter I have extra put aside when I overpaid in the summer). I then transfer that amount each month to an esavings account. I can only access it online and I can only transfer money from it to my current account. When a bill comes in I transfer the money from the esavings account, put it to my current account and immediately pay the bill.

I used to pay all my bills monthly by standing order, now I'm working i find it better to do it this way as I rack up some interest which can sometimes be as much as £30 to £50 a year!) Also my biggest hit for childcare is in the summer hols, this way I am putting towards it all year round, and the money is there when I need it pay for it.

I put a small amount aside for emergencies. This goes into an ISA account as the interest is better and means I really have to think twice before taking it out. This is for things like when the washing machine packed up or the bathroom toilet started leaking, and when i needed new tyres for the car. Just this week my hoover packed up! I couldn't afford things like that if i didn't put money aside like this. I refuse to borrow money because the interest is just wasted money imo. If I can't afford it I simply have to wait till I can. I did used to buy stuff like this from Kays when i was on IS as you can pay it over 20 to 40 weeks. But it does tend to be more expensive than shopping around can be.

I have quite high travel expenses to work. I budget for my monthly work petrol and parking costs, and then I put a further amount aside for 'other petrol', so to get to the shops, weekend travel etc.

I then work out what I have left. Put a reasonable (livable) amount to grocery shopping. For me and ds this is now £45 a month, which is pretty decent I find. It used to be £30 when I was on IS.

I then put aside for other 'necessities' such as clothes. I rarely buy anything for myself, and most of my son's clothes come from friends/family. School uniform, PE kit etc can't always wait for a hand me down though and I do have to look 'reasonably presentable for work' so do have to buy some clothes new occassionally. And I do buy ds new shoes, but I wear rubber flipflops myself most of the year which are far cheaper than shoes!

I then have 'other' expenses which includes outings, luxury grocery items , expenses for my son like scouts subs and camp or swimming lessons. That is a fixed amount each month. If i need extra food money I take it from this 'other' pot. If the pot is empty we don't go out and we don't get any luxuries or un-necessary items.

As for xmas, I get my WTC & CTC paid every 4 weeks. Come December i get a 'double' payment. So I use that 'extra' for xmas food and presents. I don't include the 13th payment in my income calculation.

We don't live a life of luxury, but we do get by. I rarely go out in the evening, we never have takeaways except maybe pizzahut a couple of times a year, and I don't drink or smoke, we don't have sky. My son doesn't get pocket money either though as he's now 9 i'm having to look at that again and will have to juggle my budget a bit.

I have to be very disciplined and when a budget is used up that's it, no sneaking it from a different budget. I can do this, but if you can't then you might want to look at paying all your bills monthly by standing order.

Also some have said use cash only. I personally don't carry cash and put everything on my creditcard. I pay that off every month by automatic direct debit though so never pay any interest. I do this because I had a cashback creditcard and never spend more than I have budgeted. I wouldn't advocate a creditcard otherwise. If I have cash in my purse I spend it, therefore if I have none I can't spend it. I know what my budgets are, I am mentally adding up as we go round the supermarket and am not afraid of saying sorry i have to put something back if i miss-count!

This method works for me because I am strict and stick to the budget religiously. I may have money in the bank when I look, but that doesn't mean I have money to spend.

Whether this would work for you depends on how you and money work. Maybe there's some things from it you can apply to your situation. Definitely agree with those who say list what you spend for a month and see where you can cut costs.

Best of luck
Gilly

Thanks everyone. I think I just need to be really strict with myself and only spend on things I really need. I am trying to open an account online at the mo but the system keeps mucking up after I have spent 10 mins typing in all my details. poo. Will go in to the bank tomorrow. If I have all my spending money in one place and all my bills money in another then at least I can't spend money that is needed for rent etc.

I feel a bit rubbish about being so useless with money and really need to sort myself out and realise I am a grown up now! So no more spending money on books, magazines, clothes etc. It isn't fair on ds. He was soooooo sad today when he couldn't get his weekly chocolate bar after church, he had to come home and have slightly stale toast with jam, not quite the same!

ditch the contact lenses, if you never go out you cant spend any money !

go on www.moneysavingexpert.com
(cant do links)

he has a budget spreadsheet which you can do on line or download.
It's brilliant and very useful.

there are some great online companys for glasses
glasses 2 u .com

you type in your prescription> they are great.....

I have started going to markets for my veg to save money.. the writing stuff down helps to

Contact Lenses - possible ways of getting your current lenses, cheaper.
I don't use contacts, prefer glasses and certainly companies like Glasses Direct are cheaper than high street.

Remember if you are in receipt of WTC & CTC you may still be entitled to an NHS tax credit exemption certificate. This means that not only do you get free prescriptions, but you also get a free eye test and £30 towards new glasses/lens.

You have to apply for this, but once you've got it they auto renew every year based on your Tax Credits claim form.

Gilly

books/mags at the library is an easy one to do

10p freddy frog choc bars are alright for your littlun?

nct sales are fantastic for clothes - great quality etc - and then you can sell them again a few months down the line!

maybe do a carboot sale and raise a bit more cash and really get rid of things you dont need

perhaps offer to do babysitting for friends for 6.50 an hour or so?

I will have to change my contact lens supplier, some of the ones in these links are a LOT cheaper. I do get the £30 towards glasses, but as the lenses alone cost nearly £200 (rubbish eyes) and the cheapest frames are already £30ish it doesn't go very far!

I am banning myself from buying books until I have read every book I own, after that I will just window shop in bookshops and buy books cheap on amazon. ds can still get a few new ones when I have spare money, I usually put about £10-15pm on his waterstones gift card and he chooses what he wants. It's not exactly essential but I think it's important to have lots of books around.

ds was so sad again today, he wanted to buy a gingerbread man but I had no money, I promised we would make some when we got home but after measuring out the dry ingredients I realised I didn't have any butter. ds knew there was nothing I could do about it and he didn't winge, he just had the saddest face ever, no noise just tears running down his cheeks!

Get to the library for books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and charity shops

yes DON'T buy books, get thee to the library. It's fantastic to be able to take out 20 crappy paperbacks you've never read before with NO guilt whatsoever. And ordering books you're dying to read is great too - 80p to order and they usually come within a few days, it's always a lovely surprise. CDs too.

Do, however, sell books on Amazon, if you can trust yourself not to buy while you are there.

And I actually find DVDs at the library are not worth it - too expensive. Get a book or possibly a CD instead.

Remember that £35 spent in a charity shop is still £35. They're not as cheap as they used to be, and nothing's a bargain if you don't actually need it.

When our income first dropped, I worked out what I was spending by percentages. Found some weird stuff - I was spending 15% of our food budget on yogurt!! (I got a yogurt-maker instead). I still find this useful. For us a huge percentage was going on random snacks and drinks while out and about. This is a really easy one to cut down on, although you have probably already done this. I say ad nauseam that it is worth investing in tupperware, a thermos flask and decent waterproofs, so that you can always eat outdoors, and never leave the house without a snack and a drink for everyone involved.

I found it scary at first having less money, then realised I was living somewhere where I would never have to worry about ds getting an education, would never have to worry about paying to go to the doctor's, and would always be able to go to the library for books. It does help to remember this when things seem very tight. Not that it pays the bills, at the end of the day.

oh NB - if working out weekly costs, don't divide a month's money by 4, it's actually 4.33 weeks per month across the year, or better still work it out properly for each month, 4 weeks or 5 weeks depending.

Making cards is great, also using children's drawings for wrapping paper. It's often touch and go to pay for birthday presents for other children - they seem to come in waves. 3 for 2 at the bookshop is a good thing to go for. But don't get seduced into buying another one for your own child as well (I always do!)

one thing i've stopped doing esp as DS had started to 'expect' it a little. was buying him a little treat when out - even if it's only a 99p pack of crayons or a little 1.99 sticker book. basically if he doesn't need it (and he doesn't) then now he doesn't have it. felt a bit bad for the first few times not to get him a little treat for being good, but well it's too expensive and all adds up.

oh and also in adsa not sure if you've seen them they do the packets of cookies for 50p that you make yourself - might be an idea?