Coping in the holidays

[blueelephant91]

My son's father has started seeing our son a lot more in the last year or so. This means that during this Christmas holidays we are going to split it, so the first week (this week) until Christmas Day I have him then he is with his dad until after New years.

I have anxiety, I've had CBT and I'm on antidepressants. I know that these times similar to this are triggering for me. I know my son will be fine and will have a great time, but I still get anxious. I don't really know why.

Has anyone been through similar? What do you do to keep yourself distracted? How can I stop my thoughts of being a 'bad mum' and mum guilt? Even though he needs time with his dad and he loves his time there. It's 7 nights without him. I luckily have my lovely and very supportive partner, but sometimes hearing others experiences of similar things helps me massively. I don't really know what I'm asking!

Any books or anything that people can recommend to help? Thank you! X

Not that it matters but my son is 5 for context.

Plan loads of nice activities for yourself! Surely there's things you want to do with your partner like nights out? Spa break? Daytime sex? Host dinner parties? Clean and declutter the house? (The last one would be most exciting for me!)
Give your son a teddy and a photo of you and tell him he can call you whenever he wants. He'll have fun - you're allowed to too!

Also reverse it- imagine if you kept him away from a dad who loved him for no reason - THEN there would be mum guilt!

You are literally an angel. Thank you ❤️ just what I needed!

I have my ds until Boxing Day, then he goes to his dad's until NYE.

I take the opportunity to redecorate ds' room if it needs it. Do other rooms if not. I run every other day (I normally don't get time), I get ahead with cooking and freezing food. Enjoy food ds isn't keen on - fish and spicy stuff 😁

I go shoe shopping, see friends, tidy the garden. Try out new recipes, pull out all my spring clothes and decide what needs replacing.

The radio stops the house seeming too quiet. I phone and chat to people I didn't see over Christmas. I read books and soak in hot baths.

I'm still glad when he's home 🙂

Try to stay busy. And indulge yourself. x

@MintJulia thank you! It's nice to hear how others do things and how I'm not alone. I really appreciate your message thank you xx