How to survive this Christmas

[Darkenergy]

I was widowed when my daughter was very young. Christmas has become a very hard time for me, I've already been quite tearful and I can feel the wave of grief rising. On top of that we're quite isolated and I've had a shit year anyway. Thanks to a combination of work and useless families it'll just be the two of us on Christmas day. I'm feeling quite bitter about my circumstances and how my life has panned out.

I know I have to put a brave face on Christmas day but I'm not sure how to spend the day. We'll have presents on Christmas morning then nothing else to do all day. She doesn't play very well on her own, I'll play a bit but I can't cope with a whole day of it.

I suppose I'm asking two things - how to make it special for her + bearable for me?

Sorry should have said dd is 4.

I’d take her out for some of the day, to the park or the beach. Wear her out a bit and get a change of scenery, then home for more playing and a Christmas movie with alcohol for you. I let them have literally whatever they want for Christmas breakfast (DS usually picks pizza) and a few other random touches like that that makes the day feel different for them.

How old is she? Could you start doing things together i.e make some fairy cakes and decorate them for Christmas, make some stained glass biscuits to hang on the tree, make some lanterns to hang on the tree. Buy a few squares of felt to cut christmassy shapes from to make small tree decs.
Write all these things in a list so she can choose what to do, write each on a small gift card for her to open. Build the anticipation. Doing this will help you by anticipating the pleasure and create positive memories as well as permanent reminders when you decorate the tree in the future.

I’m so sorry to hear that OP. Sending big hugs 💐I would try and keep it low key. After presents / breakfast / playing with new toys etc. I’d put Christmas TV or film on, make Christmas gingerbread / biscuits and whilst they’re cooling go for a walk in some nice scenery. Decorate biscuits and snuggle up under blanket to watch a film and eat whatever she likes for dinner. Do you have any Christmas books or crafts you could do?x

I'd try to make one of her presents an outdoor toy and then you can go out to use that which will break up the day. Also do a craft thing and do a Christmas film.

Have you got plans for Christmas eve and boxing day? It's easier to involve friends or do day trips on those days and then Christmas day itself will be a nice break from the other full days.

I’d get out for a bit too. I would also get a few craft things for Christmas that you can spend some time doing and a special dvd you can watch with a blanket/food.

Has she any friends you can invite round after Xmas. DDs friend often came round on Boxing Day (her mum was happy to get rid) and they would play with their new toys.

Our cinema does cheap morning films during the holidays. It really helps fill the day to go there for a few hours.

Favourite films? Board games? Quick walk, take hot choc flask with you. Could be lovely. Not as much arguing, no one else to please.

Breakfast is bed, cause…it’s Christmas! She can open her stocking then. Put a little game in the stocking, like that wooden camel you pile sticks on the back of.
Go for a walk/park/bike ride. Come home and bung some Cook Christmas meals in the oven and light candles at the table, she can have her juice in the champagne glass, you have some fizz.
Get the cheese and crackers out, put a movie on, play a game or two, take photos with the tree, do an impromptu Photo Booth.
Bath, clean jammies, more fizz for you.

Find some lovely comforting movies to watch with a glass of wine for you and a hot chocolate for her. Your old favourites, comedies maybe.

Buy a delicious dessert you can both eat together.

How was your Christmas ? Thankfully (for me at least) it's all over and done with for another year eh ! My Christmas was just largely me and DS. It always is x