Found out this evening that ex has a new girlfriend... feel totally gutted!!!

[charlotte121]

I dont get why I feel like this. I hate the guy... he has totally screwed my head up and left my life in tatters.
Had my suspicions for a week or so now that he has been seeing someone new but he confirmed it tonight and for some reason the news totally devistated me. I know that me and him have no future together as he is a total waste of space and just moves from one woman to another getting them pregnant. So its not that i even want to get bk with him but the idea of him with another woman just makes me burst into tears.
The other thing that bothers me is that he never really stays with women for long... i dont really want my son being introduced to woman after woman after woman. He went through this (his mum had god knows how many men around him when he was growing up) and im sure this is one of the reasons y he cant stay in one relationship so i dont want my little boy to turn out like his idiot dad.
What would everyone else do in this situation and why do i have these werid feelings. I'll admit that i will always care about him but I dont love him the way i used to. Just need a sympathetic ear from someone with experiance.

Is it possible that what you're actually upset about is the realisation that things have changed forever, that a part of your life is over and that the future looks big and scary? All very understandable - you've obviously gone through a tough time of it - but maybe this news is the final "closure" and that's what's hitting you so hard. HOwever much you wanted the split, you'd be a bit odd not to have some regrets that things had to end that way. But it will pass, and you'll get more used to things.

yeh... i know that I had hoped that things would work between us because at the end of the day i do care about him and we have 1 child together and another on the way but it really did hurt.

Oh you poor thing. I don't think it's at all unusual to feel like this - know I have when XP has started new women (he never stays with them either). I think, for me, that it's the unfairness of the situation as he has 7 child free nights a week to go out and meet people and I don't.
Can you talk to him about it being confusing for DS? We have a rule that our DS won't be introduced to new partners til it's 'serious'.
Think hassled's advice is right, and though it's very hard best thing to do is let him get on with it. Don't make the mistake of taking him back because of this (have been there and done that and it was a disastor..).
Hope you're feeling better soon.

(started 'seeing' new women I meant)

Charlotte, my heart is with you. I found out exactly the same thing you have tonight.

Apparently our son is getting on `very well' with him.

Sorry Charlotte. It is always a shock, no matter how expected it is.

Sorry Lostdad. I know from your posts that this must be very upsetting for you.

Charlotte, I'm sorry for your pain. It seems hard that they can try with someone else, but were content to let things slide with you. That's got to hurt. Hope you are ok.

Lost dad, this must be so painful to you when she won't let you see your son, but this new guy can. Why did she tell you? Unkind.

Charlotte - I found out my exh was seeing someone else when he spent a month on holiday with her abroad (he told me he was going with a mate). His parents financed the trip, which was in the middle of our divorce / court / mediation crap. I then found out she was pg (seven months along!!) when I asked exh to contribute to pair of shoes for ds (he was saving money for new baby)...

This is not said to depress you further! When I look back it was awful, but things do improve. Someone wise on here told me that some of your feelings come down to the grief at the loss of your future that you expected. When your ex finds a new partner, it puts an end to your hopes / thoughts that things might magically resolve themselves. Also, the future you imagined is very definitely altered. This is not necessarily a bad thing! You deserve better and will hopefully find it very soon.

he is a total ass! he really does wind me up! His new gf has a kid and i know its a novelty and all when ur in a new relationship but at the moment he is spending more time with this new girl and her child than he is with his own son.
What bugs me the most is that he tryed to deny that he was seeing someone when he accidently let it slip out and i started to believe him. He poped over for an hour or so today and spent the whole time trying it on with me... and thank god i stuck to my guns and didnt let him get anywhere. he was supposed to be coming over tognight to see ds but is instead with barbie... can u tell im slightly jealous of her and the fact that she isnt 7 months pregnant means her figure has a definate advantage to mine!
its stupid... i dont want him bk but i most definately dont want another woman sinking her claws into him, sitting her now i can hear how pathetic i sound.
he has just anounced that he is going on holiday on the die date of dc2 so to be honest he can bugger off. now he has nis nice new little slave me and ds no longer mean anything to him. pig pig pig!!!!! AGGHHHH i hate him. ahhh thaat feals much better, however still have the urge to cry. lets just put that down o being hormonal! rant over. sorry to put u all through that.

I found out similar last October. I wouldn't want my ex back (I left him) so I wasn#'t jealous of her, I was jealous of how he can merrily just move on to the next phase of his life and I have all the responsibility. But, I wouldn't swap my children for the chance of meeting somebody new. Knowing that helps.

Men shmen. I would prefer a house tbh!

lostdad that must be very hard. How cruel to tell you how much your son likes him.

Charlotte I am really sorry but do think it is because this is the real end and now you have to get on with what is left.

not sure. we had a good day monday. took ds swimming and had a good chat about everything. He asked me if i was jealous etc and i said that i found it hard to see him with someone else and i was also getting wound up at how much time he was spending with her when he could be spending it with his son. we did argue a bit but he was quite understanding which supprised me and he even told me that he wanted to get back with me but knew that it wasnt possible. Now that everything is out in the open it is a little better. I also found out some stuff about his new gf and she sounds a bit boring to be honest which kinda made me happy as childish as it sounds. Im sure it will be hard for him if i eventually get a new bf but thats the last thing on my mind at the moment. thankyou for al ur advice. it was nice to be able to speak to people who have been in the same situation. hope everyone else is ok